Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML
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By
abzray123
| 7
Nothing worse then a pissed off in-law... Run girl!
By
Welshite
| 39
I guess he thinks he's a cyborg, since Bishop is the only one I know who wins at that game.
COMMENTS
By
tchatfield9413
| 6
hello
Reply
sweetnsourrr
| 11
HELLO!!!!
By
abzray123
| 7
Nothing worse then a pissed off in-law... Run girl!
Reply
ktmla
| 14
It's moronic of him weather he was dared or not. That really doesn't make a difference
Reply
cryssycakesx3
| 22
whether*
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cryssycakesx3
| 22
well either OP married married the brother or OP's sister marries them. I don't think the BIL is the only moron.
Reply
Chelsea_bella
| 20
#34 was simply referring to the weather we're having in Florida.
Reply
Bullet75
| 8
You correct grammar then proceed to put a word twice?
By
Welshite
| 39
I guess he thinks he's a cyborg, since Bishop is the only one I know who wins at that game.
Reply
Warmonger_Smurf
| 29
Bishop missed as well.
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LowExpectations
| 30
Even Bishop nicked his finger playing that game.
By
Ieri
| 31
How does the amount of blood you lose from slicing a finger, require blood donation? Try to explain it to her OP, either way you aren't forced to give blood. Hope no more accidents happen out of their stupidity for you to take the blame.
Reply
mannatee
| 19
That's not what OP meant
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tchatfield9413
| 6
I don't think she wants her blood for a donation.
Reply
cjwayy
| 22
Saying you "want someone's blood" is a figure of speech.
Reply
sunshineb81
| 16
#5 are you by chance related to the "brain dead brother in law?"
She didn't literally mean she had to donate her blood. It's a figure of speech.
She didn't literally mean she had to donate her blood. It's a figure of speech.
Reply
ProctorKProducti
| 5
You are literally the most retarded person on earth.
Reply
rocker_chick23
| 27
*headdesk* #5, please tell us that you're not this stupid in real life. "Wants my blood" is something known as a figure of speech.
Reply
Sirin_fml
| 46
She's from Albania. Calling her stupid for not knowing a figure of speech from a language she doesn't speak natively is a bit... stupid.
Reply
graceinsheepwear
| 33
#5's location says Albania, so they may not be familiar with this American figure of speech meaning to want revenge.
Reply
Sassie8810
| 9
It's okay #5. English is my native language, and I had to read the FML twice to understand what the OP meant.
Reply
cryssycakesx3
| 22
people are really harsh for absolutely no reason at all. *that's* stupid. get a life bros.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
At what point will you knuckle heads realize that this is the internet and not just people from English speaking countries use the site?
Reply
FatherofTime87
| 18
Wow... and I thought I had dumb comments...
Reply
Ieri
| 31
Ah, sorry. I hadn't come across that expression before so I thought she meant it literally. My bad, as some people stated I'm not a native speaker and I just took it literally, didn't mean to sound stupid ^-^''
Reply
guineagirl96
| 38
It's ok people overreact. A lot of figure of speeches don't make any sense literally.
By
WhatsYOURname6
| 25
Haha I hate that.. Parents thinking their kids are so innocent and blaming others for their shitty actions!
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jazzy_123
| 20
even worse when they brag about how perfect they are and you know there faaaar from that lol
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brackaman
| 18
Really? My mom always told me how stupid I was and believed that I was some sort of natural criminal in the making. I suppose it varies between parents.
Reply
jazzy_123
| 20
Yeah really. Well I knew a girl in high school who slept around a lot and she didn't care what people said. Her mom didn't know that despite allowing her daughter to dress half naked and encouraged Flirty behavior. She would always brag about her to my friends saying what a good daughter she had and how any man would be lucky to have her.... lucky? Oh Yeah. I understand that's not the situation for everyone.
Reply
romanova83
| 6
that's why there are lots of messed up kids these days.
By
captainsmegma
| 12
yeah he is
By
rocker_chick23
| 27
Sounds like she is as stupid as her son. Sorry you have to put up with that OP.
By
chappygotdahappy
| 2
Good luck, it sounds like you need it.
By
worldclassrager
| 39
Oh in laws the best thing about being married *scaram*
Reply
aruam365
| 24
Is scaram similar to sarcasm?
Reply
littlekellilee
| 45
He just asked them to leave in a fun, cartoony way. Sca-ram
Reply
brackaman
| 18
No silly. Can't you tell by his profile picture that it's the evil way of saying shalom.
By
AznLuvsMusic
| 26
I'm not saying it's your fault, but did you at least make an attempt to stop him?
Reply
KingLewisII
| 34
In the words of Ron White "you can't fix stupid" I would just make sure he doesn't bleed all over everything
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rocker_chick23
| 27
I have a feeling OP did, but he didn't listen to her.
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nix1993
| 41
It doesn't matter if he did or not. His brother-in-law is the moron who decided to play with knives, anybody else's input is pretty much irrelevant to the outcome.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
@24 Unless she had a gun (or a bigger knife) how is she going to stop him?