By fmlgirl - 09/05/2014 18:44 - Netherlands - Hulst

Today, my brain-dead brother-in-law decided to play five finger fillet while at my place. Predictably, he ended up slicing a finger wide open. My mother-in-law now wants my blood, because she thinks I dared him to do it, and that clearly her perfect little angel couldn't be such a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 000
You deserved it 3 892

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Top comments

Nothing worse then a pissed off in-law... Run girl!

I guess he thinks he's a cyborg, since Bishop is the only one I know who wins at that game.


sweetnsourrr 11


Nothing worse then a pissed off in-law... Run girl!

It's moronic of him weather he was dared or not. That really doesn't make a difference

cryssycakesx3 22


cryssycakesx3 22

well either OP married married the brother or OP's sister marries them. I don't think the BIL is the only moron.

Chelsea_bella 20

#34 was simply referring to the weather we're having in Florida.

You correct grammar then proceed to put a word twice?

I guess he thinks he's a cyborg, since Bishop is the only one I know who wins at that game.

Bishop missed as well.

Even Bishop nicked his finger playing that game.

How does the amount of blood you lose from slicing a finger, require blood donation? Try to explain it to her OP, either way you aren't forced to give blood. Hope no more accidents happen out of their stupidity for you to take the blame.

That's not what OP meant

I don't think she wants her blood for a donation.

cjwayy 22

Saying you "want someone's blood" is a figure of speech.

#5 are you by chance related to the "brain dead brother in law?" She didn't literally mean she had to donate her blood. It's a figure of speech.

You are literally the most retarded person on earth.

rocker_chick23 27

*headdesk* #5, please tell us that you're not this stupid in real life. "Wants my blood" is something known as a figure of speech.

She's from Albania. Calling her stupid for not knowing a figure of speech from a language she doesn't speak natively is a bit... stupid.

graceinsheepwear 33

#5's location says Albania, so they may not be familiar with this American figure of speech meaning to want revenge.

It's okay #5. English is my native language, and I had to read the FML twice to understand what the OP meant.

cryssycakesx3 22

people are really harsh for absolutely no reason at all. *that's* stupid. get a life bros.

RedPillSucks 31

At what point will you knuckle heads realize that this is the internet and not just people from English speaking countries use the site?

Wow... and I thought I had dumb comments...

Ah, sorry. I hadn't come across that expression before so I thought she meant it literally. My bad, as some people stated I'm not a native speaker and I just took it literally, didn't mean to sound stupid ^-^''

It's ok people overreact. A lot of figure of speeches don't make any sense literally.

Haha I hate that.. Parents thinking their kids are so innocent and blaming others for their shitty actions!

jazzy_123 20

even worse when they brag about how perfect they are and you know there faaaar from that lol

Really? My mom always told me how stupid I was and believed that I was some sort of natural criminal in the making. I suppose it varies between parents.

jazzy_123 20

Yeah really. Well I knew a girl in high school who slept around a lot and she didn't care what people said. Her mom didn't know that despite allowing her daughter to dress half naked and encouraged Flirty behavior. She would always brag about her to my friends saying what a good daughter she had and how any man would be lucky to have her.... lucky? Oh Yeah. I understand that's not the situation for everyone.

romanova83 6

that's why there are lots of messed up kids these days.

rocker_chick23 27

Sounds like she is as stupid as her son. Sorry you have to put up with that OP.

Good luck, it sounds like you need it.

Oh in laws the best thing about being married *scaram*

aruam365 24

Is scaram similar to sarcasm?

He just asked them to leave in a fun, cartoony way. Sca-ram

No silly. Can't you tell by his profile picture that it's the evil way of saying shalom.

AznLuvsMusic 26

I'm not saying it's your fault, but did you at least make an attempt to stop him?

In the words of Ron White "you can't fix stupid" I would just make sure he doesn't bleed all over everything

rocker_chick23 27

I have a feeling OP did, but he didn't listen to her.

It doesn't matter if he did or not. His brother-in-law is the moron who decided to play with knives, anybody else's input is pretty much irrelevant to the outcome.

RedPillSucks 31

@24 Unless she had a gun (or a bigger knife) how is she going to stop him?