Health: Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling,...

By Crap - 30/07/2015 00:57 - United States - Seminole

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 160

You deserved it 1 708

Health

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 171

You deserved it 4 204

By FUCKFACECUNT - 02/08/2015 13:32 - United Arab Emirates - Abu Dhabi

Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 666

You deserved it 2 386

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 699

You deserved it 7 404

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 996

You deserved it 5 385

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 05:26

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 4 697

Always check!

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bayonne

Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 215

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 848

You deserved it 11 370

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 121

You deserved it 53 758

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 10/06/2013 15:55 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 206

You deserved it 6 021

echarlotte 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:36

a true fml

DivineZero 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:33

And income the "shitty situation" puns

Comments

DivineZero 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:33

And income the "shitty situation" puns

octinate 17

Thursday 30 July 2015 21:13

Officially the worst day at work that anyone can have...ever

karcummings 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

JMichael 25

Thursday 30 July 2015 13:29

speaking from experience?

karcummings 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 13:54

ew! no. i hold my shit in until i get home.

Rented_eyebrows 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 14:08

#30 girls don't poop...ever!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 30 July 2015 14:15

that's what socks are for

sandraw1 22

Thursday 30 July 2015 15:20

#34 that is true. We don't fart either, or grow armpit hair

Rented_eyebrows 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 16:10

#41 that's pushing your luck abit... Next thing u know, ur telling me they don't wear makeup :*

Chicagoillinois 18

Thursday 30 July 2015 18:12

Why? A fire alarms going off they could walk out of the stall naked and wipe their ass now because everyone's heading outside

razora 4

Friday 31 July 2015 9:52

You can't hold shit like that trust me no one can

MyGFisaturd 23

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:35

Sorry op, but I bet that ass is hawt ;)

milehigh52 22

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:37

your comment should get moderated, ya weirdo.

Eliseopwns 22

Thursday 30 July 2015 11:26

hot like the taco bell that caused the shitstorm

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:35

What a shitty day

PurpleMyth 28

Thursday 30 July 2015 18:39

Funny and original #5. You are truly a benefit to society

bossking23 15

Friday 31 July 2015 1:31

MUST someone make that pun EVERY ******* TIME there's an fml involving shit?

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 31 July 2015 3:15

#62, Yes

rainbotato 14

Friday 31 July 2015 4:32

Id down vote you if it werent for your name

karcummings 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:35

that joke was in the shitter from the start and you scooped it up to use. ???

Wonderful_0 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:35

Time to sacrifice a sock! Well, I hope your diarrhoea gets better OP?

pharaohasphuck 10

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:36

Wow. I really want to know what happened next. Sorry OP, bad shit happens.

echarlotte 19

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:36

a true fml

FEATHDUCK 19

Friday 31 July 2015 12:30

Agreed. Agreed.

sjensen920 3

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:36

wow I'm sorry. But your situation is quite "alarming" and should probably get checked by a doctor

trevorr_16 25

Thursday 30 July 2015 11:27

Your situation is quite alarming indeed. Along with shitty.

NotGabe 28

Thursday 30 July 2015 10:37

Murphy's Law was strong there. Anything that could go wrong did go wrong.

rachelthelime_fml 29

Thursday 30 July 2015 23:34

Isn't it Sod's Law?

NotGabe 28

Thursday 30 July 2015 23:42

There is always something worse that can happen, like the building collapsing and taking the lives of everyone inside. That would be Sod's law.

Keywords

Awkward Harassment Coffee Love Anger issues Mental health Weird Family Miscellaneous Sex Confused My ex Cheating Work Facebook Social Media Babies Parenting Health Relatable Nice Guys Creepypasta LGBTQIA+ Religion Painful Food Transportation Intimacy Politics Coworkers

The Top

Today, I received a written warning at work for being "unacceptably rude" to an official visitor. I guess fetching the fire hose because the building was actively on fire wasn’t a valid excuse for yelling at the dozy cow stood blocking the door to “move out the fucking way.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 131

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 334

You deserved it 4 289

The Top

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 872

You deserved it 12 542

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 574

You deserved it 3 495

Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 622

Today, my boyfriend was tapping on my thigh to the beat of the music when we were driving to dinner. When I asked him what he was doing he replied, "Just watching the ripples." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 496

You deserved it 6 286

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 115

You deserved it 2 957

Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 159

Same thing different taste

Always check!

Ring of fire

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