By Tiny_Nerd - United States - Westwego
Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML
Tiny_Nerd tells us more :
OP here. To clarify my husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and three months. I had reasons prior to starting (inconsistent cycle, family history) to believe I might be infertile, but we wanted to wait a year and see. We're currently about to get checked out and tested to see what's what. This particular incident I was talking to my mother in law about the fact we haven't managed to conceive yet and her advise was to "pray to the Lord with all our hearts" for a baby. She knows very well that my husband and I are agnostic, so I reiterated to her (as I've had to do since I was in the dating stages with my husband) that we are agnostic and not inclined toward Christianity at all. Her immediate response was "that's why God won't give you(my husband and I) a baby". To be fair to her, I will say I've heard about her background and it was pretty abusive so this is a learned behavior (though it's no excuse). From what I've seen while she's not as bad as her parents, but she has some pretty abusive tendencies which has more than once resulted in bad fall-outs and drama; more often than not with women (males are not exempt) who are either in the family or connected by familial ties. She tends to be quite controlling and doesn't react well when people don't do what she wants. It's been suggested before that she get therapy, but she refuses as she thinks there's nothing wrong with her behavior. Everyone knows she's like this, no one likes it. As for this particular incident it was pointed out by my husband that this was her way of aggressively trying to convert us because that's her "Christian" way of loving; in her mentality it's for our own good. My husband did stand up for me when he found out. Her response was less than stellar. My husband loves his family (his mother too, even if he doesn't like her) and unfortunately you can't avoid his mother without avoiding the family as well. I do my best to avoid drama while still standing my ground and not letting myself get walked all over which isn't easy as you can see. As for my sister in law I won't go into specifics, but her children are going through a bad time (because of both their parents) and we can see how it's affecting them. My husband and I have been trying to think of ways we can convince their parents to allow us to have temporary custody till at least one of them can give them a stable environment (though to be frank I wouldn't mind if it was permanent). One last clarification: I have nothing against Christians. I'm actually a theology nerd (amongst many other nerdoms). I actually consider this type of "Christian" behavior an affront to what the religion is supposed to be. My husband and I had a discussion and we've decided due to this incident when we DO have children one way or the other (whether it be natural, from fertility treatments, fostering, or adoption) we will absolutely forbid his parents to talk about religion with them or around them at all nor will they be left alone with the children unless it can't be avoided (like if we had an emergency). If they try to do so anyway visits will be limited or cut off. We had already decided that it would be in our wills when we have children that his parents (among others in both our families) under no circumstances are to get custody if something happens to us.
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  iiTzNeeNerz  |  26

That is a broad stroke there #39.
Religious, Agnostic or Atheist; you'll always run into those who aren't understanding of anything other than what they believe in or don't, for that matter.

  LeashaJoy5595  |  28

#45 Have you ever heard the joke "A vegan, an atheist and a CrossFitter walk into a bar, I know because they told everyone within 2 minutes." I know several atheists and agnostics, they have all waged war against religion on multiple accounts. It doesn't matter what the belief is, it matters who the person is. There's some really great Christians out there, some really great feminists, some really great cops, some really great Muslims, but all we hear about are the horrible things that a group of people do that just so happen to identify with a specific title. It shouldn't give that entire group a bad name because of a few awful extremists.


On the other hand I know many people of different religions who could care less what your religion is. People should judge based on their actions rather than what they believe...


Yo I'm not religious or anything but you can't assume that all religious people are this insane. First of all these people are extremists, not the regular religious people. Don't assume that all religious people are insane; there are plenty of religious people who choose to have their own opinions. Second, its mainly christians (not hating on christianity) that are like this. I'm not saying that you only find religious nut heads in christianity or that you don't find any religious nut heads in other religions; I'm just saying that its mostly christians. So don't hate on other religions for the mistakes of one religion. Again I'm atheist as well, but I still respect all faiths.

  chinaski7628  |  32

4, I have a friend who (like me) is an atheist. She will routinely insult and belittle people (to their face) for going to church, mentioning God, or wearing crosses. When another friend was planning for his grandma's funeral, she told him that she wouldn't be attending because she didn't want to "be around that prayer shit". She once berated me for teaching an excerpt of Genesis in a unit I teach on creation mythology, because I was apparently brainwashing young minds (interestingly enough, none of the other creation myths I taught seemed to bother her—go figure). People don't need religion to be judgmental assholes. Judgmental assholes, though, do tend to use their beliefs to justify their behavior. It's not just religious people who do this.


@#24 Yep, I have a friend who is exactly like that. He constantly tells our group of friends about how religion is dumb and stuff like that, but our group of friends is very mixed religion wise. He berates people who are Christian because he believes it's stupid, but he claims to be a follower of a religion that was formed on the Internet. Dude needs to grow the hell up and realize that people can follow a religion and not be idiots.

  TAntobella  |  14

Most religious people do #24, as they base their beliefs on the judgmental opinions of thousands years old sheep herders, and on their personal fears of course.
You can't expect rationality and actual compassion from those people, they are too busy with their biases.
There are exceptions, but they are the minority, and typically they are those who are not observant.

By  anonymous198913  |  26

Sorry OP. That's definitely not the reason you haven't been lucky yet. You should go see a doctor, and they will tell you why you haven't conceived a child, and how to fix it. Good luck!

By  tigerthepredator  |  16

Dude fuck her advice. Get an awesome kid and make sure that he isn't stupid. Make sure that you teach him that there's nothing wrong with religion but there is everything wrong with being extremist.

By  iiTzNeeNerz  |  26

Unfortunately, according to a lot of Christians, that's how things work. To a lot of them God loves only some, not all. I'm sorry you have this kind of Christian to deal with.