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By Brandon Butler - 04/03/2011 09:22

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 673

You deserved it 3 002

By Anonymous - 22/10/2013 04:44 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 024

You deserved it 3 542

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 16:45 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 416

You deserved it 6 257

By love-shot - 17/08/2013 08:24 - United States - Hays

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 060

You deserved it 7 866

By getyourownbike - 12/05/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 831

You deserved it 12 929

By aww, such a nice guy. NOT - 25/05/2014 17:46 - United States - Dodge City

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 6 663

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 828

You deserved it 9 089

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 989

You deserved it 13 504

By al0406 - 22/03/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 360

You deserved it 4 219

By Violet - 05/04/2014 01:57 - United States - Exeter

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 147

You deserved it 5 970

Sensitive

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 00:09 - United States - Kent

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 749

You deserved it 5 309

By Anonymous - 08/03/2013 11:29 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 321

You deserved it 2 942

History matters

By student101 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 063

You deserved it 6 695

By wabbyfish - 14/03/2014 03:36 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 534

You deserved it 8 200

By bebooneo - 23/01/2014 22:16 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 035

You deserved it 6 871

bebooneo tells us more.

bebooneo 11

Saturday 25 January 2014 3:35

Let me elaborate. It was yesterday when this happened and I submitted the FML, just to cheer myself up. I am a recent graduate and it was at a job fair, not a scheduled interview but to my surprise one of the recruiters started interviewing me right away. I was unprepared and got flustered and started saying that. But the good news is that they indeed seemed to like me enough to email me for a real interview next week! All prayers appreciated! Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

Come again?

By Alice - 22/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Today, my manager came in and said, "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said, "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who'd left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 732

You deserved it 48 447

By j0j0 - 19/11/2008 03:44 - France

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 042

You deserved it 36 883

By clubber - 04/11/2008 04:16 - Switzerland

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 358

You deserved it 9 052

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 609

You deserved it 6 194

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 17:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 4 478

Randy

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 22:22 - Netherlands - Reusel

Spicy

Today, I walked into a room to help a patient get ready for bed. Except she already was in bed, with two other male patients. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 956

You deserved it 1 795

By Butter_Cup - 28/12/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 842

You deserved it 2 809

By Chris75 - 01/09/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 602

You deserved it 3 880

By nonexistant - 29/10/2010 04:33 - United States

Today, a cute girl came up to me with her boyfriend and said, "If you end up looking like him, it's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 062

You deserved it 2 947

No one's favorite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 889

You deserved it 3 816

By Inthedumps - 23/07/2014 00:51 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 923

You deserved it 3 615

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 09:45 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 306

You deserved it 5 162

Asshat

By mcds2 - 18/03/2013 08:28 - United States

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 3 523

By Deaf - 02/07/2015 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 432

You deserved it 1 852

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 693

You deserved it 10 011

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Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 348

You deserved it 15 935

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 033

You deserved it 485

Today, for the second time in my life, I fell and got stuck between my wall and my bed wrapped in a blanket, mad. Instead of helping me, my brother just took videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 346

Today, after a very long and stressful day at school, I had to go to work right after. There's no better way to start my shift than getting screamed at by a Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 126

Today, I came for the first time WAY after the normal age, which is like 11 to 13 (I’m 16) and not only that, but I learned I have to deal with medical conditions, because it was painful when I ejaculated. The first time I even had testicle retraction. I’m just like my goddamn dad with his problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 139

Today, I wanted to donate blood for the first time ever at the The 38th Annual Rock and Roll Up Your Sleeve Blood Drive. Unfortunately, someone with my exact name & birthdate was already in the system and 30 minutes were spent trying to correct the problem. Eventually, I got frustrated and left. No good deed goes unpunished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 129