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Fly me to the moon

By Anonymous - 11/08/2020 23:01

Today, I booked a long distance flight across two continents, costing me over 600 bucks. I then got a confirmation email. For a different flight. I wrote to their customer service address, saying there has been an error, and to please either change or cancel the booking. I never got any reply. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 198

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I’ve been working 4 months to cover people isolating, so I was finally looking forward to a Saturday of fishing, a date night then a lazy Sunday watching TV. Only my wife who, as soon as she heard I had a whole weekend free, handed me a list of vital house jobs that need doing, “NOW NOW NOW.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 231

Under review

By GottaGetOuttaHere - 09/11/2018 13:30

Today, during my yearly review, I was told by my boss that mistakes in my paperwork will be investigated by our company legal team. He also said, "Think of them as the TV or movie version of Internal Affairs" and said that I would be considered "guilty until proven innocent." I can't afford to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 524

You deserved it 235

Stormy weather

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 17:00 - United Stated - Portland

Today, I was about to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, when it started to rain. He was so interested in the storm that he left me half naked to look outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 269

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 11:01

Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 180

Dopamine rush

By thiscantbereal00 - 07/01/2022 14:02

Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 3 788

Why don't we do it in the road?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2022 22:00

Today, since my most recent breakup, I haven’t had sex in almost a year but I’m too afraid to just jump on Tinder for a hookup, because I had to move back into my parents' spare room, and I can’t be bringing a woman back for sex on a fold-out futon with mom and dad in the next bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 412

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 314

Face your demons

By corleon198425 - 13/11/2020 20:08

Today, I finally got a job after months of searching due to Covid. The bad news? It's cleaning dog kennels. I have an extreme fear of animal poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 576

By BadNurse - 12/02/2017 02:00 - United States - Evansville

Today, I learned that the manager I switched jobs to escape 7 months ago will be my new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 401

You deserved it 552

Light 'em up, boys

By Clogged - 25/11/2020 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a week after I quit smoking, I lit up again. Was it stress? Cravings? No. I haven't had a crap since I quit, and can't take this gut ache anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 193

Judge Judy much?

By Why are they all like this? - 01/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found some thigh high socks in my boyfriend's drawer. Furious, I confronted him. He confessed they were his and put them on to show me they fit. I had to dump him, it was just too weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 928

Alexa, put on "Trust" by Low

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 08:01

Today, the first guy I have dated, and have had a serious relationship with after my divorce, is spending the night with his ex-girlfriend. And I'm supposed to be ok with it, “nothing's going to happen.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 117

I mean…

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 01:57

Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 148

End student debt

By Reluctant Scholar - 09/03/2022 02:00 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I'm in a US college. I could've gone into a trade or internship, but no one listened. Now, while my parents brag to their friends that their child has a degree, I'll probably be spending the rest of life in crippling debt, sleeping on the side of the road, and begging strangers for table scraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 507

"Life is unfair…"

By Breadline single mom - 26/12/2020 19:56

Today, my deadbeat ex-husband who works at a country club was invited to play poker with some club members as they needed a last player. He’s rubbish at poker but got some lucky hands and ended up winning £112,000 from those rich guys. Life isn’t fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 1 406

Bad Brains

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 03:00

Today, I'm apparently on a "thinking ban." My wife and kids have banned me from starting any sentence with, “I think“ because it always leads to some sort of disaster, or accident, or expensive mistake, etc. So I'm no longer allowed to think because me thinking is dangerous for everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 871

By Overlord247 - 28/06/2019 07:05 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, due to sleep deprivation, I wasn't paying attention to where the elevator stopped. I walked into a flat, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. It was the flat just beneath mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 492

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 09/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 523

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 474

By LivingInMisery - 13/04/2017 04:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, I was supposed to have my advising appointment for my next semester of college. When I got to campus, it was windy and raining so heavily that my clothes were sopping wet within a minute of stepping out of my car. My advisor didn't show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 002

You deserved it 273

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 02:00

Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 285

We feel for you, bruh

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 20:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, I realised that I wasted my teenage life just to be a parent pleaser. I'm in the final months of high school and while everyone is enjoying the last days, I'm sat here being a "good" son, listening to my parents argue, maybe divorcing. I'm in tears and can't go out as I'm not invited to anything anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 209

One hell of a hangover

By Ouchiewowow - 11/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 034

By stk - 19/12/2016 12:56 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up at 3am to catch my flight back home, only to realize that my flight was pushed back 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 731

You deserved it 504

How peculiar

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 06:00

Today, I turned up to unclog a customer's blocked sewer, and they were furious that I needed to use their water, like they thought I’d turn up with my own water for the whole job in a small transit van. They told me not to bother, unless I provided my own water. I wasted a day on these idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 98

Are you a wizard?

By elaine - 03/02/2021 05:01 - United States - Denver

Today, I tried to prove a point to my six-year-old son who refuses to drink water from the kitchen sink in favor of from the bathroom faucet. I filled up two cups, one with the kitchen water and another with the bathroom water, thinking he wouldn’t tell the difference. He gagged on the kitchen water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 1 011

Socialized healthcare, now!

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 06:00

Today, I'm into a three week battle with the United States medical system regarding my mom. I've even moved friends onto our farm because I'm a traveling electrician. Yup, they took a pissed off email a little too serious. I'm on charges of fraud and I need to leave on friday to keep the family farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 655

Crash

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 886

Get well soon

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 08:02

Today, I'm in hospital after having surgery for a broken leg. I’m maxed out on Endone and still in pain. Work have said that I’m on the roster next week and I’ll be fired if I’m not there. My wife said that she is going to have some "me time" for a few days when I get home from my "holiday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 86

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The Top

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 198

You deserved it 294 135

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 164

You deserved it 6 904

Random

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 093

You deserved it 2 014

Today, my teacher yelled at me for using my phone in class. I apologized out loud, knowing that it would help me get off easier. She was yelling at somebody else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 2 141

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 307

You deserved it 4 893

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear…" they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 1 991

Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 23 206

Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 747

You deserved it 3 137