Work: Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying,...

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 1

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 92

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 44

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 26

15/06/2016 21:30

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 923

You deserved it 1 974

Work

Taking stock

Mama's boy

There's no helping some people

15/09/2017 19:30

Today, I was running late to class and slipped down a staircase. Not only did nobody help me, but when I got up I noticed an old man staring at my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 406

13/06/2019 12:33

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 634

18/08/2011 20:25

Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 834

You deserved it 3 095

Tense

By pizzacat - 22/09/2010 08:49

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 560

You deserved it 8 338

31/01/2012 14:41

Today, I found out my little sister is marrying my ex, and that my mother set them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 730

You deserved it 3 286

14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 642

You deserved it 207

10/01/2011 03:18

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 057

You deserved it 32 536

13/04/2015 09:00

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 048

You deserved it 2 761

02/09/2011 22:20

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 488

You deserved it 4 588

21/03/2012 21:06

Today, I was stabbed in the chest. Not with a knife though, the under-wire from my bra escaped and stabbed me in the boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 536

You deserved it 3 320

25/07/2019 02:01

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 549

18/02/2011 14:47

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 657

You deserved it 5 257

29/01/2009 00:32

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 899

You deserved it 28 228

21/01/2017 08:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 413

You deserved it 979

30/10/2015 17:01

Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 013

You deserved it 5 054

17/04/2014 16:01

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 009

You deserved it 11 736

11/01/2010 00:24

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 2 585

07/07/2016 22:34

Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 353

You deserved it 1 056

16/02/2009 05:45

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 374

You deserved it 7 028

Difficult

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01

Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 98

11/08/2014 02:22

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 030

You deserved it 3 706

10/08/2011 07:18

Today, a week after my fiancé and I got engaged, his mother is already complaining that she isn't involved enough in the wedding arrangements. We haven't even set a date yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 236

You deserved it 2 581

15/01/2013 05:45

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 407

You deserved it 3 540

31/08/2010 00:04

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 663

You deserved it 50 216

27/02/2009 06:03

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 413

You deserved it 54 000

Feelings

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 00:46

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 446

You deserved it 9 753

11/11/2009 00:10

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 065

You deserved it 39 493

13/12/2011 02:15

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 251

You deserved it 9 242

16/08/2012 15:16

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 264

You deserved it 7 051

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 144

Let's do this again!

By wow - 27/11/2019 05:00

Today, for the first time in months, my best friend agreed to hang out with me. After waiting, three hours for him to show up, I called to see what was taking him so long. He told me he couldn't come because he needed to get a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 187

07/02/2012 04:27

Today, I was called an 'unhelpful little bitch' by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn't order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it's a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 805

You deserved it 2 443

17/01/2011 09:53

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 787

You deserved it 3 460

29/05/2012 17:50

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 4 770

29/06/2016 14:42

Today, my dad might be dead. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he hasn't called recently to verbally abuse me as he often does. He constantly beat me as a child, yet now I'm kind of worried for the piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 235

You deserved it 1 227

10/03/2010 17:56

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 5 703

21/10/2012 10:31

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 883

You deserved it 1 594

Good enough reason

By Anonymous - 17/05/2017 20:00

Today, I finally found out why my girlfriend doesn't want kids. She discovered Rugrats recently and, after binge watching the whole series, decided that our would-be children would be too adventurous for us to handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 052

You deserved it 447

12/11/2012 15:10

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 6 631

06/09/2009 04:35

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 36 275

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

MandyO 15

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:33

What kind of response were you expecting?

Rogher 7

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:39

Was he supposed to say no?

Comments

daniel271 13

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:14

Well damn

lolnothanks 18

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:15

Well it could have been worse...

kaydrippy 11

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:17

Dude noooooooo never over the phone..

ruby64329 6

Send a private message

Friday 17 June 2016 2:25

That's most likely the reason they responded that way... OP kinda brought it on himself..

MandyO 15

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:33

What kind of response were you expecting?

TheTacoMan 24

Send a private message

Friday 17 June 2016 5:02

"Oh no! What a shame! How will we EVER live without you!? This business will surely cease to exist without you here!"

Suffolk_yourself 8

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:34

Sorry OP, that sort of thing should be done by letter, that's probably part of the reason why your boss responded that way

sundogjr51 1

Send a private message

Saturday 18 June 2016 3:51

Or in person

Rogher 7

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 12:39

Was he supposed to say no?

ShortieRose 30

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 13:15

What were you expecting? Your boss to beg you to stay, after you gave notice over the phone? No one is irreplaceable in the workplace!

james_logan 19

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 13:59

That's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see of it pays off for him.

Beckei 18

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 15:24

Effin A, Cotton, effin A!

TabooSushi 24

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 14:17

Workforce Rule Number One: You are not as indispensable as you think you are.

dontknow1 19

Send a private message

Thursday 16 June 2016 14:44

Of course he said that, with the economy right now there are a lot of people wanting your position.