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More info - This actually happened a few weeks ago, so all I have left is a scar. Only 2 of my cat's claws caught my foot. The rest caught the bed. This incident happened at 4am. The cat in question is our super skittish semi-feral baby. We got him at 3 months old and completely feral. He's now 8 months and really sweet. He is my cat pretty much. He follows me up to bed and around the house and always wants cuddles when I wake up in the middle of the night. Yes it hurt, but I wasn't even mad. I've had worse. Both from our other cats and from him. In fact, my family and I laughed about it the next day because cats aren't usually so clumsy.

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 06:00

Today, my new bikini must be cheap as shit because I tanned nicely where I put on sunscreen, but where I didn’t apply it under the bikini I’ve gotten super red sunburn on my butt, my lady bits, and my boobs. My nipples look like the ends of red felt tip pens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 650

You deserved it 843

By Anonymous - 21/06/2018 19:00

Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 114

You deserved it 620

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 1 136

By Noname - 17/01/2009 13:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 342

You deserved it 2 147

By ColdMN - 03/02/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I trying to scrape the ice off my car, but wasn't having much luck. Frustrated, I kicked a clump off from the bumper. The clump didn't budge, but the entire front quarter panel fell off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 372

You deserved it 11 167

By piece of crap car - 04/01/2017 06:27 - United States - Portland

Today, I was supposed to start my first day of work at my dream job. However, my car had other plans and refused to start. When I called my boss to tell him I was going to be late, he told me not to come in at all and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 856

You deserved it 1 064

By embarrassed - 18/11/2010 02:31

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 806

You deserved it 3 441

Contagion

By breejanai - 11/04/2017 04:00

Today, while working as a veterinary assistant, an owner stood extremely close to me and kept accidentally petting me instead of her dog. After her dog was examined, she asked me if I'd ever had the chickenpox because she has shingles and it's contagious to those who haven't. I haven't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 720

You deserved it 325

By Anonymous - 23/08/2017 20:00

Today, I'm a counselor at summer camp. I don't know how to tell the 12-year-old girl in my cabin that I can hear porn playing through her headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 385

You deserved it 328

Confusing

By frenchpop1960 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 598

You deserved it 42 154

By little nokken - 19/05/2018 13:00 - United States

Today, I was out driving with my dad when the car broke down. He made me get out and push. I am a 5 ft tall 90 lb girl, and the car was an SUV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 845

You deserved it 508

By Anonymous - 20/05/2018 01:30

Today, I sneezed without knowing I had a nosebleed. Despite turning my head, a fine blood spray shot out all over my fiancée’s white dress as we were standing at the altar. She refused to say “I do” because she was so mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 100

You deserved it 573

By Anonymous - 25/09/2018 07:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I'm recovering from a bad motorcycle crash that could have cost me my life. A truck pulled out in front of me while going 60. Luckily I only have a broken arm and a fractured sternum. I was just notified by my attorney that the guy at fault has no insurance or assets to his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 524

You deserved it 240

By screwedover - 27/10/2018 14:09 - Australia

Today, 4 weeks after I told my housemate I was moving out, she told me she expects me to continue paying rent beyond when I leave, despite giving her plenty of notice. Now I'm dealing with lawyers and it's more drama than I can handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 972

You deserved it 373

RAlyf tells us more.

RAlyf 18

Saturday 27 October 2018 0:19

OP here. I was on the lease. I was approved to go off the lease, as someone else was moving into the house. 3 bedroom house, 2 people on the lease, I move out, someone else moves in. The real estate agent changed his mind about me going off the lease because the new chick wasn’t going into my room - which he can’t actually do - and the lease doesn’t specify who is in which room. The real estate agent has been unprofessional towards me and never once helped me - but ex housemate is a narcissistic toxic liar, so who knows what lies she’s spread about me... Plot twist - the owner is moving back into the house, so my ex housemate and her new housemate now have to vacate and I’m footing half the cleaning bills etc because I’m sick of fighting and want to cut this chick out of my life!

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend finally answered my Snapchats. He was laying on a bed with purple pillows and sheets. His are gray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 968

You deserved it 279