By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 03:46 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 136
You deserved it 1 835
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Tripartita 44

Alright, I've got gunshot, lethal injection—oh, and a rather fantastic deal on death by flamethrower. What'll it be, OP?

143 7
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derpyshy 16

I've done that. No clue what causes it. Drink something warm (cocoa, cider, tea), it'll help.

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Comments

derpyshy 16

I've done that. No clue what causes it. Drink something warm (cocoa, cider, tea), it'll help.

104 5
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JMichael 25

I've sneezed so hard I've given myself a stiff neck. It's crazy how a normal reflex can do that.

13 1
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derpyshy 16

Exactly. Like whiplash, isn't it? I took two semesters of human anatomy, the human body is insane.

1 1
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NippyGee 7

a piece of granola entered one of his lungs when he sneezed. it's happened to me few times

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hamiltonma 22

Mmmmm. Crunchy.

24 1
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javierrrrm 12

Eat a banana.

20 1
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ladyLALAA 28

Do it slowly too

27 1
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ThrottleJockey 35

Without breaking eye contact.

25 1
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penguinpinz 8

get as much of it down your throat as you can

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Psyqiik 18

Don't forget to pucker your lips

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Mathalamus 24

try drinking some tea, it might help.

15 1
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koganti 18

lemon tea would be great.

3 1
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Tripartita 44

Alright, I've got gunshot, lethal injection—oh, and a rather fantastic deal on death by flamethrower. What'll it be, OP?

143 7
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LilMissCanadian 22

Gunshot would be least painful. Good luck OP

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WinterChild 20

Less painful than lethal injection?

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Allornone 35

actually, probably yes, 23. a correctly aimed gunshot could kill instantaneously (I.e. no pain), whereas studies have shown that the most drug cocktails used for lethal injection might actually be very painful, although too incapacitating for criminals to show it.

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Dark_Cecilia 20

Actually, being burnt alive is one of the most painful ways to die

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Tripartita 44

Haha, if THAT were true, #34, we'd be selling deaths by flamethrower extra cheap to incentivize purchase… oh.

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fuckfuckityfuck 16

Tell me where you stay at and I`ll do it free of charge. It will be quick.

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Snaxia 12

Keep gargling and drinking. Good luck to you.

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Etweens96 25

Ugh I hate sneezes like that, my mother and I get loud sneezes and one time my mom scared someone when she drove by and sneezed. I am not making this up. For your throat, gargle with warm salt water and drink some tea with honey

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Tomato_Cheese 22

Gargle with fire. It will take your throat out so you die AND your throat is fixed

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disasterlydeed 26

Oh please, I have antifreeze. It works WAY better than fire and gets the job done quickly.

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