By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 03:46 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I sneezed incredibly hard while eating a granola bar. 5 hours later, it's still hellishly painful to swallow. Please kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 107
You deserved it 1 825

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Alright, I've got gunshot, lethal injection—oh, and a rather fantastic deal on death by flamethrower. What'll it be, OP?

I've done that. No clue what causes it. Drink something warm (cocoa, cider, tea), it'll help.

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I've done that. No clue what causes it. Drink something warm (cocoa, cider, tea), it'll help.

JMichael 25

I've sneezed so hard I've given myself a stiff neck. It's crazy how a normal reflex can do that.

Exactly. Like whiplash, isn't it? I took two semesters of human anatomy, the human body is insane.

a piece of granola entered one of his lungs when he sneezed. it's happened to me few times

Mmmmm. Crunchy.

javierrrrm 12

Eat a banana.

Do it slowly too

Without breaking eye contact.

get as much of it down your throat as you can

Psyqiik 18

Don't forget to pucker your lips

Mathalamus 24

try drinking some tea, it might help.

koganti 18

lemon tea would be great.

Alright, I've got gunshot, lethal injection—oh, and a rather fantastic deal on death by flamethrower. What'll it be, OP?

Gunshot would be least painful. Good luck OP

Less painful than lethal injection?

Allornone 35

actually, probably yes, 23. a correctly aimed gunshot could kill instantaneously (I.e. no pain), whereas studies have shown that the most drug cocktails used for lethal injection might actually be very painful, although too incapacitating for criminals to show it.

Actually, being burnt alive is one of the most painful ways to die

Haha, if THAT were true, #34, we'd be selling deaths by flamethrower extra cheap to incentivize purchase… oh.

Tell me where you stay at and I`ll do it free of charge. It will be quick.

Snaxia 12

Keep gargling and drinking. Good luck to you.

Ugh I hate sneezes like that, my mother and I get loud sneezes and one time my mom scared someone when she drove by and sneezed. I am not making this up. For your throat, gargle with warm salt water and drink some tea with honey

Gargle with fire. It will take your throat out so you die AND your throat is fixed

disasterlydeed 26

Oh please, I have antifreeze. It works WAY better than fire and gets the job done quickly.