Intimacy: Why not both?

Why not both?

By Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 617

You deserved it 8 985

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Same thing different taste

By moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 5 531

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 9 886

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 524

You deserved it 4 500

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 877

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 616

You deserved it 9 623

Congratulations

By stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 721

You deserved it 5 119

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 155

You deserved it 3 702

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 491

You deserved it 5 101

By Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 931

You deserved it 856

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 886

You deserved it 4 704

therob10 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:51

I'd rather have the head..

hailphire130 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:53

You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.

Comments

miss_vain 12

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:05

I sincerely don't see the problem here

kaileigh10 2

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:07

Take it back & give him head.

mj_ok 9

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:37

Well, we know it doesn't take much to please him.

ThatLooksSticky 16

Wednesday 21 September 2011 0:42

Christmas is just around the corner, and now you know exactly what to give him. :)

Randy84 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:35

Another piece of jewelry to match the watch?

BoredMofo37 2

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:03

Awkward moment when his mom asks what his girlfriend gave him.

allknowingbrony 5

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:20

And the problem is where?....

doogy15 11

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:34

We are men... Sex solve everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.... Except aids....

angel1234567 10

Wednesday 21 September 2011 2:42

Lol

detective_oreo 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:42

Woulda saved you money

smirnoff1695 0

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:43

I mean, it is cheaper.

chookyla1 5

Wednesday 21 September 2011 1:52

It's kinda sweet in a way. He is saying you shouldnt of gone to all the effort.

Keywords

Roommate Music Miscellaneous Embarrassing Singing Relatable Dogs Animals TV shows Cheating Love Sports Weird AITA Death Family Awkward Annoying Health Doctor Money Work Capitalism Drunk Friends Concert Coworkers Sextoys Pranks Intimacy

The Top

Today, my farm dog and I are spending the weekend in an urban area. She won't poop on concrete, so I directed her to a nice two-foot tall grassy median. As she vaulted up onto the median, two turds shot out of her ass and plopped right on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 429

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 226

You deserved it 3 536

The Top

Today, after pushing myself really hard all week to find a new job, I was looking forward to having a nice relaxing weekend with my family. Nope, I got a migraine and can barely function, but also can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 83

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 4 943

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 152

You deserved it 4 234

Today, I found out that the 28 year-old woman I hooked up with a week ago is a widow and her kids, who I’ve met once, have started calling me Daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 304

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 22 919

Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 182

Why not both?

Same thing different taste

Congratulations

Surprise indeed

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