Intimacy: Why not both?

Why not both?

By Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 617

You deserved it 8 985

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 5 531

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 210

You deserved it 9 886

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 524

You deserved it 4 500

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 6 877

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 616

You deserved it 9 623

Congratulations

By stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 721

You deserved it 5 119

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 155

You deserved it 3 702

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 491

You deserved it 5 101

By Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 931

You deserved it 856

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 886

You deserved it 4 704

therob10 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:51

I'd rather have the head..

hailphire130 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:53

You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.

Comments

Buzzy123 7

Tuesday 20 September 2011 20:57

He can wear the watch on his dick while u give him head to see how long he lasts.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 20 September 2011 21:14

Blow him, take the watch back & save yourself some cash...Problem solved!

gatorkiss 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 21:16

Agree . We are easy to please. Who cares what time it is when you are getting a BJ.

safeara21 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:03

Sounds like my bf

meintx2001 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:49

If your bf thinks head is a special gift, he obviously doesn't get it much. Your sex life must suck. Lol

Hard_Luck_Aussie 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:56

That's sucks rude guy he is

Thehastilareturn 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:02

Sounds like thats the better option. Save money and everyone is happy

gunner2590 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:07

Well next year you'll know how to save birthday money.

mutinykitty 18

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:20

yeah, fyl. his idea is WAY cheaper.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Tuesday 20 September 2011 23:38

give him both(;

Keywords

Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music TV shows Animals Dogs Relatable AITA Sports Weird Love Cheating Death Awkward Annoying Family Doctor Health Capitalism Work Money Drunk Concert Friends Coworkers Intimacy Pranks Sextoys

The Top

Today, I saw the girl I like had posted a status on Facebook, saying, “I’m sick of being lonely, why don’t any guys wanna date me?! I think I’m gonna spend my life alone.” I asked her out once and she turned me down. When I commented this fact on her post proving her statement untrue, she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 665

Today, and ever since the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office, and now that he's become buddy-buddy with management, they believe him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 2 099

The Top

Today, I had to buy a wrist splint for my carpal tunnel syndrome. Not because I'm a computer programmer or some hot shot web designer but because I spend ALL of my time playing Solitaire on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 889

You deserved it 33 187

Today, after stressing all week about important phone calls, they all went as horrible as possible. My anxiety was right all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 144

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 361

You deserved it 2 256

Today, a woman pulled out in front me and I couldn't avoid hitting her. When we pulled off on the side of the road to inspect the damage, she backed into me. My car is only a month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 109

You deserved it 156

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 935

You deserved it 3 065

Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 78

Why not both?

Same thing different taste

Congratulations

Surprise indeed

Top comments

Comments