Today, my farm dog and I are spending the weekend in an urban area. She won't poop on concrete, so I directed her to a nice two-foot tall grassy median. As she vaulted up onto the median, two turds shot out of her ass and plopped right on my foot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
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Top comments
alycion 39
How about the fake grass squares you can get in the pee pad section. Often used for dogs who sometimes have to go inside or on a patio and normally wouldn’t. I’m so getting one for hurricane season. The last storm mine refused to go on the pads in the garage, so I got to stand out in the middle of a hurricane, keeping him on a short leash so I could pull him inside if needed, to let him pee. And he has to pee every five minutes during heavy rain. The first strong one to hit the area in at least 12 years, and he suddenly decides he doesn’t like pee pads in the garage during storms. I feel your pain. I really do.
wanted_2_want 40
Surely you were glad you didn’t have to pickup the turds from the concrete floors. LOL
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Comments (4)
alycion 39
How about the fake grass squares you can get in the pee pad section. Often used for dogs who sometimes have to go inside or on a patio and normally wouldn’t. I’m so getting one for hurricane season. The last storm mine refused to go on the pads in the garage, so I got to stand out in the middle of a hurricane, keeping him on a short leash so I could pull him inside if needed, to let him pee. And he has to pee every five minutes during heavy rain. The first strong one to hit the area in at least 12 years, and he suddenly decides he doesn’t like pee pads in the garage during storms. I feel your pain. I really do.
TCRII 30
Did you sing him a song?
wanted_2_want 40
Surely you were glad you didn’t have to pickup the turds from the concrete floors. LOL
JackWood 21
The joy of owning a canine! woof