Intimacy: Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I... - FML

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 6 187

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 1 574

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 799

You deserved it 5 065

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 398

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 406

You deserved it 6 880

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 5 279

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 6 356

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 19 470

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 443

You deserved it 796

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 409

You deserved it 167

Next

Top comments

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!

nick347b 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.

Comments

kennedy98 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:10

Suck harder lol

EmperorXing 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:11

Hes trying to find something better

tmd4L 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:23

Did he shoot his snot rocket?

zombicidal 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:27

better mining nose gold than a golden shower

loopmeinoddone 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:27

Divorce.

xXRazelleLuniiXx 9

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:48

People like you are the reason why marraiges seem to fail now-a-days.

Endless_time 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:31

Picking his nose....or digging for gold...?

RrLSf19 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:49

Eww

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:32

Your dog is awesome!!

geod69 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:50

What else is he suppose to do with his finger

gregkingsley 4

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:59

Lol

BostonBruinsFan 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:00

#75, she sucks so much, that he's checking to see if there is any brains left. (husband says)"Oh, can't find it! I can't find it! No, wait, there it is! My pea-sized brain is intact, and safe. Ok, Keep sucking, Honey!!!"! -.-

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Kids Cute Birthday Money Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 366

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 72

Today, I realized how little my husband, son and I mean to my in-laws. We were somehow left off the distribution list for my sister-in-law's birthday party. I even texted her to wish her well. It wouldn't be so bad if this wasn't the fifth consecutive family event we were left out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 330

Today, I sent a draft email to my boss. The receptionist, thinking they were being helpful, forwarded it straight to the client. It's not ready for the client. I mean, it is NOT ready for the client. Really, really not ready for the client. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 224

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 987

You deserved it 3 595

Today, I still get irrationally angry and distracted when my teacher refers to bodily functions as “poop, pee, number 1 & 2, etc.” and calls things icky. I’m literally in nursing school with an instructor who talks like Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 141

Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 247