Intimacy: Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I...

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 6 187

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Same thing different taste

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 1 574

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 799

You deserved it 5 065

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 398

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 406

You deserved it 6 880

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 5 279

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 6 356

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 19 470

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 443

You deserved it 796

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 409

You deserved it 167

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!

nick347b 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.

Comments

wironandine 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:01

You must suck at sucking

chesoes 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:10

U need to try harder my sister

tony262626 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:11

You poor, innocent child. FYL.

tonygar 16

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:27

I would never pick my nose...

deadlysniper375 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:32

Hahaha thats hilarious

BboyMarkieMark 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:39

Eww haha =3

dansco 24

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:40

Stick a finger up his arse next time, he'll notice then! lol

scarlettblondii 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:16

I am not the same person as the one with the dirty underwear husband.

metalflower01 7

Saturday 21 January 2012 14:48

You're also not the person who posted this.

TheSmoothDude 10

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:31

Good one

Cartera 10

Saturday 21 January 2012 5:51

Wow, he really knows how to turn a woman on!

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Birthday Money Cute Kids Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Education Parents School Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 424

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 604

The Top

Today, I caught my boyfriend watching Andrew Tate videos and agreeing with everything he was saying. I shared my opinion that Tate is a disgusting human, and my boyfriend said that of course I’d try to suppress the truth like a typical woman. Ladies, I think my boyfriend is broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 689

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 207

You deserved it 5 322

Today, well into my second year at university, I still haven't made a single friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 299

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 562

You deserved it 24 481

Today, I found out that my boss, who had promised me a raise, is not promoting me. He says I don't have the right 'vibe' and I'm not 'relaxed' enough for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 366

You deserved it 792

Today, after living in my new apartment for barely three weeks, I found mice living under my dishwasher. When I brought it up to the managers, they said I'd have to pay for an exterminator myself since they weren't there when they cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 372

You deserved it 1 422

Same thing different taste

Surprise !

Underperforming

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