Intimacy: Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew... - FML

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 265

You deserved it 1 578

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Same thing different taste

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 462

You deserved it 803

You coming?

By snotface - 23/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 805

You deserved it 8 867

That'll do it

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 6 200

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Spicy

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 845

You deserved it 5 090

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 800

You deserved it 19 476

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 3 951

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 342

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 254

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 961

Next

Top comments

cacheson 41

Sunday 25 September 2016 10:06

Wow, blowing loads from both ends. That's really... a skill... that a person probably should not have...

SofaKing619 13

Sunday 25 September 2016 9:52

Damn that's nasty

Comments

SofaKing619 13

Sunday 25 September 2016 9:52

Damn that's nasty

Harshie 10

Sunday 25 September 2016 9:54

Could be worse, he could've blown his load on your face

cacheson 41

Sunday 25 September 2016 10:06

Wow, blowing loads from both ends. That's really... a skill... that a person probably should not have...

tantanpanda 26

Sunday 25 September 2016 21:28

I mean, it could be coming from all three ends. luckily, it would be really hard for this to happen and geometrically, it would be hard to cum in someone, shoot snot, and shit on someone at the same time. Sorry for the mental image.

justinb97 16

Monday 26 September 2016 3:46

Geometrically?

RpiesSPIES 27

Sunday 25 September 2016 10:12

Moneysnot!

TXfmylifer 10

Sunday 25 September 2016 11:33

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Lillysar91 20

Sunday 25 September 2016 12:08

Headshot!

stoopid1970 7

Sunday 25 September 2016 13:06

But the sex was good right ?

whitnayfortooh 29

Sunday 25 September 2016 13:11

kinky.

jasonswife423 18

Sunday 25 September 2016 15:15

I would have vomited.

melana09 19

Sunday 25 September 2016 15:24

It's a gross situation but laugh it off things happen.

spaceavery 6

Sunday 25 September 2016 22:05

Yeah, pretty much. I managed to block most of it with my arm and then went and washed up with a bunch of soap. I was cracking up for a solid 15 minutes or so. The situation was so ridiculous I couldn't even be mad.

cuz803 44

Monday 26 September 2016 21:46

Love the sense of humor OP

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 172

The Top

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 393

Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 660

You deserved it 3 237

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 177

You deserved it 5 971

Today, my fanatical Christian stepfather told me that my genetic illness is a result of demon possession, and that I'd be cured if I allow his church to perform a "healing prayer demon expulsion" on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 109

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 829

You deserved it 6 542

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 439

You deserved it 3 208