Intimacy: Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I...

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 636

You deserved it 6 187

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Same thing different taste

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 1 574

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 799

You deserved it 5 065

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 398

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 406

You deserved it 6 880

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 5 279

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 6 356

Surprise !

By snottyface - 26/09/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 792

You deserved it 19 470

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 443

You deserved it 796

Underperforming

By ThatIsNotIt - 24/01/2021 04:02 - United Kingdom

Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 409

You deserved it 167

Savra_fml 17

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

First he puts on dirty underwear after a shower, and now this! Stop giving head OP!

nick347b 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 1:50

He's enjoying it. Trust me, I'm a guy.

Comments

jordantiner 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:46

Seems like his dick wasn't the only thing that needed blowing ;)

Iamthor 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:20

Guess you should do a better job!

Jillaudrey 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:26

He's diggin for that gold!

MigraineurOfLife 15

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:42

One word seems to come to mind::: A not so accidental BITE!

lilpowers 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:43

Gold Digger! Lol.

Newzealeb 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:54

You might as well pull out your receipts and start doing your taxes while you pleasure him .

linkinpark98 23

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:36

XD!!!

mralwaysright124 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 10:46

U musn b veri gud

tonnyfong 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 11:19

Sounds like double penetration to me. Both your mouth and his nostril.

br0ccoli 14

Saturday 21 January 2012 11:41

Wow marriage sounds fun! Can't wait!

Voldy_fml 16

Saturday 21 January 2012 12:19

Ew. I'd stop right there.

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Kids Cute Money Birthday Love Health Weird Awkward Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams Parents School Education Teenagers Anger issues Family Capitalism Miscellaneous Relationship advice Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 709

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 2 610

Today, I finally fixed the flickering light in my office by tapping it with a broom. Turns out, it wasn't actually the light but a family of squirrels having a some sort of disco party in the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 85

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 585

You deserved it 6 890

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 452

You deserved it 6 621

Today, after two months of rehersals, an actor in my theater company decided he was unhappy with the role I gave him, so he refuses to perform. We open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 204

You deserved it 981

Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 842

You deserved it 8 891

Same thing different taste

Surprise !

Underperforming

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