Yeah, I mean what boyfriend does that?

Yeah, I mean what boyfriend does that?

Yeah why rat you out? :D

This is funny my girl would her ass off at this. I know cuz I've done similar things. :D

Next time he does that kind of shit just say, "just because you have a small dick and fire quick, doesn't mean you have to embarrass me in public!"

53- not really, it means that you can laugh about something in front of a group of people you'll never see again.

Next time you're in a store Op, be the 1st to loudly say to him "I'm sorry about your problem last night sweetie, but I'm sure the doctors can prescribe those little blue pills for you" that outta shut him up.

lol at yours.

I don't see why she would dump him, he's just playing around. My friend would do the same with me when we were shopping. I just think OP should lighten up, it's not that serious.

I can't believe so many people don't find this hilarious. my girlfriend and I screw with eachother like this all the time, plus the peoples reactions are classic.

123 Relax.

123 you are what we that are amoral like to call a "self righteous douche bag". Also your reasoning is that because he assaults someone the solution is then to "take him outside and beat the shit out of him" that's some pretty cool logic you got going there.

#17 Did you just call yourself a dick? :D

75- Obviously you're not a genius. OP didn't steal anything, her boyfriend just says that she doea.

I get where 123 is coming from, and that's nice and all, but usually you can tell when someone is joking or not from their tone of voice and facial expressions.

123- the only thing you're gonna beat the shit out of is your dick.

123 you are a real man! Op I voted ydi because you said boyfriend, not "my now ex-boyfriend. Have some respect for yourself and leave his sorry ass

OP's boyfriend does need to be careful joking about hitting women. Somebody one day will take him serious and take action. I don't think joking about hitting women is very funny. HOWEVER, the purse comment is pretty funny.

I'm pretty sure shell see that group of people again if she always goes to that grocery store

Because she definitely can't get arrested for him making them think she's stealing.....

They would ask to look in her bag before they called the cops- then they would see that there is nothing in the bag and no reason to call the cops.

Threaten to brake up with him, then he'll probably shut his fucking mouth

You're amazing!!!!

Funny as hell!

#122, with you and your girlfriend, it's pretty clear that you're screwing around with each other. In OP's situation, she's not finding it as hilarious as either of you do (maybe she did once, but now it's just gotten old - you never know). It seems to me that the boyfriend knows that, yet he keeps doing it to her. That's why a lot of us aren't finding it funny.

145 who us the "we" you speak of, talk for yourself some people might actually think Keyman is doing something respectable, like me, I fucking hate it when anyone in a relationship gets abused, male or female, physically, or emotionally. I was once in a relationship where I was being emotionally abused and it drained the life out of me. I respect you Keyman, keep on keeping on.

Well then I guess your a dick too

283- You need to take your own advice and chill out bro o.O who are you to openly judge a person's relationship of which you know nothing about anyways? No relationship is perfect so get over yourself.

276 I said we that are amoral. So that is the "we" that I was talking about.

I can't believe how many people on here are dumb, why ydi for not dumping him, its not your business or your life so quit telling people what to do, you amoral creeps

Good one!

331 stop commenting.

@283 Hey, I'm not whiny and I'm certainly not a fuck. GOOD DAY SIR But seriously, I constantly tease people I know and I have an appreciation for dry humor and sarcasm. But humor is a two-way street and if the OP is not laughing, her bf needs to cut it out. Not to mention that yelling "DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU" and "I SEE YOU PUTTING THINGS IN YOUR PURSE" is actually pretty immature and if the wrong people hear it, there can be serious trouble. If your idea of humor is to yell inappropriate, immature lines then go for it, I won't judge you. But get off your high horse and remember that criticizing the OP's bf doesn't mean we're the fun police. Most of us just have other methods of humor. BTw, I agree completely with 310. Listen to her.

EDIT: Sorry I meant 315 and I ran out of time to edit.

I apologise for my lack of spelling and sentence structure, but writing paragraphs on the iPod is very difficult. I am the chillest person anyone will meet. I didn't even read your entire novel there. What I'm saying is why are you going out with someone that completely does not understand your silly sense of humour. I mess around, if your serious all the time and expect perfection that is where arguments begin.

75, were you dropped on your head as a child?

Exactly

Not funny . And I'm not alone.

"NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!" Seriously though, instead of bitching and moaning just kill him at his own game; ie, pull a security sensor off of something, stick it to him, and then when the alarm goes off just look at him and yell "DAMMIT BABE, NOT AGAIN!"

I like him

We don't think it's so funny

ya that damn richard.

Well first off if he actually hits you leave him and get a friend to fuck his shit up. And stealing is bad so don't do that.

If someone won't stand up for themselves then they don't deserve To have anyone do it for them

Say "Don't make me kick your ass again"

112 what if he is much bigger than her and he'll just hurt her again

Standing up for yourself doesn't mean violence.it's possible to simply leave if it was a violent situation.

No, say "I'll stick that candle in your ass like last night honey."

That's when you reply "It's not my fault that you can't satisfy me."

You guys are stupid.

You guys are stupid...it's a JOKE. No girl is gonna find a guy who's always sweet and loving to her like in the movies. And if a guy does act like that, he's probably gay

30, I think you and 75 were both dropped on your heads.

351, this is my friend Sarcasm. Sarcasm, this is my friend 351. I'm glad you two have finally met.

If that is what he calls hitting on you or making a move, dump his ass.

It could've been worse," lets Letzeburgesch while getting a hunsbygunon for our yishrupshis"

What?

Exactly

LOL at people without a sense of humor

LOL at your failed attempt at humor.

4/40- just don't breed.

There the sane person.. Someone's lonely

Don't worry 4 we have the same sense of humor. It's just too bad that all the people on fml are the normal people. I thought better of you all.

105 - Define "normal people" because every person that I've met is unique in their own way.

Lol I agree he sounds hilarious... I would do the same haha! Except I probly wouldn't say anything about hitting her lol

4/40-105 we all have the same sense of humor lol some people really need to chill and your right as long as he really doesn't hit her why should she dump him?

She deserves to get hit for staying with the guy.

Real original

^win

No.

TIL i am a dick for finding something funny. I didn't realize i was hurting someone.

Thanks apollyo. I'm glad you appreciate my sense of humor.

Lol your husband is hilarious

Your husband sounds like a twelve year old.

Hahaha I do this all time at school when my friends piss me off XD

lol my friends do that to me

That's not something you should joke about. I know you all mean it to be funny but it's a serious thing. Grow up and try to attempt to at least act mature.

That is awesome! You should totally do this OP.

DO IT!!!