Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML
Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML
Staircase wit at the checkout
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML
Bad timing
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Gold digger
Today, I asked my boyfriend to help me with groceries, since the last of my money went to last week's groceries. His response was to start a fight, then tell me it's my fault my daughter acts the way she does, which is when he finally got me to break down and cry. I'm pregnant with his kid, and I also pay 90% of our bills. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Making a scene
Today, I was at a coffee shop with my boyfriend when we got into a little argument. I was trying to keep it calm and quiet, but my boyfriend yelled, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME!" The entire coffee shop went silent. Then, an old lady yelled, “Finally, someone said it!” FML
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
Top comments
stormchaser24 24
Wow what a jerk. Dump his ass.
sydie5 12
What did you see in him again...?
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Comments (386)
Liimitless 6
He's probably just pissed about his small dick
Alex94xela 0
Or are you pissed off about having a small dick, that you feel you have to go on the Internet and make fun of a person you don't know to make yourself feel better.
evilplatypus 39
I'm starting to think Alex IS the boyfriend...
xxskatergirl7xx 0
No alex just dont have a life
brianjman14 23
Hypocrite much, Alex?
glittercookies 12
Why are you getting defensive, alex?
blacksswan 10
I think Alex has a small dick and he got offended by this ahahhaha
white16sox 19
Alex by making that statment, you are being hypocritical. You say he has a small dick then go on to say that he goes onto the Internet to say it about someone else to make himself feel better. That is quite hypocritical.
Daralea 21
Hypocritical, yes, but not necessarily untrue.
LaDeFreakinDa 4
I feel like I just read the name Alex about 900 hundred times.
kirsty1551 3
yell out in public "Stop stealing money from that lady's bag." or "No you can't pee yourself in a shopping centre!" Something like that:)
LivyGirl0611 9
^lol WIN.
fmlikecrazy 0
Just get back at him.
tayza249 20
And you're with this guy.. Why?
Cmdr_Shepard 17
So why do you go to the grocery store with your bf when he clearly makes you uncomfortable with his shitty sense of humor? Stand up for yourself and tell him to knock it off or leave his ass at home.
tayza249 20
Or just leave his ass, period
ohmandapants 17
I don't understand how he thinks he's funny...no body likes a guy who beats his woman, so why "joke" about it? It makes HIM look bad!
Irchell 17
Go ghetto on the little f*cker! Stab and smack him! Piss on his face, carve your name is his d!ck with a rusty nail and tell him he's YOUR bitch!
flockz 20
and that he's your 6th victim in your serial killing spree?
ikickgingers 15
6th, that they can prove... I wonder what or who's in that basement. :/
flockz 20
obviously there are 5 other midgets who do nothing but ****, who have various holes on their bodies where they got stabbed, handprints on their face where they got "smacked", all blinded by acidic piss, all cowering in corners with the word "Anonymous" carved into their dicks, convulsing from the effects of tetanus disease from rusty nails, and all under the impression that they're a female dog.
ikickgingers 15
God... That's effing hot.
flockz 20
mhm and that n00b is only on her 6th. Amateur.
ikickgingers 15
Who really carves and pisses on their victims?? Err my basement has no trap doors if it did... I would just load my victims err guests up with x and ruffies... It's like a big orgy. I'd video tape them and lower down baskets of lotion. The torture racks are the best fun though, so i hear. Once in awhile I like sneaking down to the cave and chaining them down and taking out the whips and gags. You can't leave lasting marks. You just rotate them until they lose their minds... A mind **** is the best kind of Torture. *sigh* Err. Ugh. Look at that!!! *runs to hidden exit door*
flockz 20
i just chain them to the wall, naked. then i hand them a bunch of papers that they must file in alphabetical order, then throw buckets of lemon juice on them. the various papercuts burn like fire, which are quickly cooled by the blocks of ice they're standing on. this way they can't escape either. after that i unchain them, but now drench all of them with vegetable oil from the overhead sprinkler(twas a bitch to install). then grab some popcorn and watch as they fight each other to the death due to intense hunger.(but the vegetable insures that they'll never cause any harm, just slippery sliding fun!) oops will you look at that how time flies! *moves to Canada*
ikickgingers 15
Meet me in Niagara falls ... I have a plan to get across the border. The mini skirt and heels are part of your escape outfit, I don't wanna hear your complaints again. If you listened me last time we never would've gotten chased out of Mexico.
flockz 20
well maybe we wouldn't of been chased out of mexico if you hadn't of sent me undercover as a local prostitute to get info on our next victim. this time you can wear the skirt and heels and i'll go eat a ******* burrito while getting wasted and singing along to three different mariachi bands.
ikickgingers 15
Flockz, don't pull that shit with me!! It was two bands... And well, who can't pass up tequila? If you remember our Vegas stint I pulled in the triplets. You owe me, plus I'm too little. You know johns want their hooks to have more weight and size so they can handle the pounding :D and you do have better legs.
NPN_Scorpio 16
To work as a joke something like that needs two police officers within earshot. I bet he would find spending some quality time with them at the police station hilarious.
rcbarnes 24
LMAO!
thesoccerone7 3
YDI for being with him. Tell him to stop. If he doesn't stop acting this immature and it's not making you happy, leave. Plain and simple
ikickgingers 15
I quite enjoy his brand of crazy...
iilovecokee 6
I must say I agree with you.
juturnaamo 29
So your FML is that your BF has a lame sense of humor? Could be worse.
KiddNYC1O 22
Her boyfriend is abusive... Op, leave him in the dust. There's someone better for you in the horizon.
white16sox 19
Her bf ISNT abusive. He just says that crap to get a laugh.
captainbj2 0
No, he does it to make her uncomfortable and nervous ....he is emotionally abusive, and op should leave if he doesn't stop when she asks.
juturnaamo 29
Nervous? What about the purse thing? He's just a doofus.