Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
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By
The_9th_Doctor
| 18
did you slap him?
By
confusedAsFuck
| 34
I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"
COMMENTS
By
The_9th_Doctor
| 18
did you slap him?
Reply
confusedAsFuck
| 34
I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"
Reply
The_9th_Doctor
| 18
Hmmm. Truth you speak. wise you are.
Reply
euphoricness
| 28
That actually was an FML I believe, 34. I hope other people know I'm talking about lol. I think it was the exact same thing except OP was a girl and she wanted to surprise her husband and so she kissed him on the neck while he was cashiering or something
Yeah hopefully I don't sound crazy...
Yeah hopefully I don't sound crazy...
Reply
lolita88_fml
| 27
I hope she did, what kind of creepy pervert just starts kissing a random woman's neck in public?
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
So you're telling me, 48, you don't kiss a persons neck to say hello? I myself, go for the ear nibble for the polite way to say "Hi!", to a new person I meet. Of course you need to follow that up with a tongue in the ear canal to ask them how they've been. I don't know.. Maybe I'm just too nice?
Reply
Gingerette
| 8
You aren't too nice, 54. You are just the right amount of nice. I would sneak up behind you and rub your shoulders to communicate my approval, if I knew you.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
@58 a tad creepy. I imagine that's what happened to OP.
*ooo you so fine.... ooo ima nibble on yo neck....
yeah... aahh yeah sugga*
*ooo you so fine.... ooo ima nibble on yo neck....
yeah... aahh yeah sugga*
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
If you ever see a guy walking around shirtless sporting a storm troopers mask, you'll now know it's me, 58. I'll never turn down a good ol' shoulder rub!
Reply
shellykjelly
| 26
Did you slap him with a banana?* it's a good source of potassium
Reply
becka2s
| 14
I remember seeing that #46! It was funny seeing the other persons FML haha
Reply
ClaireWinchester
| 17
Doctor Who reference?
By
Jessa91
| 10
Gross. I surely hope you gave them what they had coming.
Reply
Tiryth
| 10
Mega kick to the balls!
By
Welshite
| 39
It was a ghost.
I have phantom kissers all the time. I don't know if that's my "forever alone" life trying to make me feel better, or if I'm just crazy.
I have phantom kissers all the time. I don't know if that's my "forever alone" life trying to make me feel better, or if I'm just crazy.
Reply
badluckdawson
| 19
You're just crazy
Reply
Welshite
| 39
Awesome! :D
I finally have an excuse for the police when I streak at football games. Wooo!
I finally have an excuse for the police when I streak at football games. Wooo!
By
Tigerblossom
| 19
Well... That's not appropriate either. So I guess the statement still works.
By
WompWompWomp123
| 7
Uppercut him, then tell your husband.
Reply
mangalomelon
| 7
you goin to jail now
Reply
Axipiter
| 24
66, your comment has successfully destroyed the English language. It's a free-for-all! Raid all the libraries and bookstores and scoop up whatever dictionaries you can find! The apocalypse is here! Ugh...
Reply
mangalomelon
| 7
Oh, okay, 76.
"You're goin' to jail now!"
Please don't throw a dictionary at me. Those hurt :(.
"You're goin' to jail now!"
Please don't throw a dictionary at me. Those hurt :(.
Reply
Dontstealmyname
| 11
91, It's *going not goin'. If you're going to correct yourself, at least do a decent job at it.
Reply
graceinsheepwear
| 33
94, they used an apostrophe to indicate slang, so completely correct in that context. goin'
Reply
WompWompWomp123
| 7
Not if it's an "accidental" shoryuken.
Reply
Soloman212
| 28
In fact an apostrophe represents a missing letter, so really goin' is perfectly correct.
By
Wizardo
| 33
That's when you one inch punched him and called the police right? That's molestation right there.
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
I love how you said one inch punch. Going straight Bruce Lee on that creeper. Ki Ya! Sound effects, they do work.
Reply
freezeangel
| 11
or it could lead to rape
Reply
geekpower_fml
| 28
Yes, #83. In the middle of the store...
Some people...
Some people...
By
challan
| 19
Were you buying items to make sandwiches? You may have been his dream woman.
By
Enslaved
| 36
Did he freak out mistakenly thinking you were his wife? Or do we have a kissing bandit on the loose!? :P
Reply
Axipiter
| 24
This actually happened in my city. There was a random guy going up to girls and kissing them. It was kinda scary...
Reply
Cindale_87
| 16
Oh, that's just nasty... !
Reply
graceinsheepwear
| 33
When I was little, my mom played a "kissing bee" game with me. One day, my mom ran into the mother of a boy in my elementary school class and the boy's mom said that some girls kept chasing her poor Brian on the playground and saying they were kissing bees.
Drats! Foiled again!
Drats! Foiled again!
By
Warmonger_Smurf
| 29
Why is that not appropriate for your husband?
Reply
Life_is_FML
| 22
Uh a quick peck is ok but full on neck kissing is a little too sexual for public
Reply
BluKatz
| 11
"Mommy, why is that man eating that womans neck?"
Reply
jellydoughnut41
| 7
Zombies!
Reply
Chumbowamba
| 10
o.o my father is a zombie??
Reply
TheDrifter
| 23
Or a vampire.
By
unlucky_lucy
| 17
Some one wants you