I feel another FML coming "Today, I was standing in line at a grocery store, and I saw my wife. I wanted to surprise kiss her on the neck. It wasn't my wife and I got bitch slapped. FML"

Hmmm. Truth you speak. wise you are.

That actually was an FML I believe, 34. I hope other people know I'm talking about lol. I think it was the exact same thing except OP was a girl and she wanted to surprise her husband and so she kissed him on the neck while he was cashiering or something Yeah hopefully I don't sound crazy...

I hope she did, what kind of creepy pervert just starts kissing a random woman's neck in public?

So you're telling me, 48, you don't kiss a persons neck to say hello? I myself, go for the ear nibble for the polite way to say "Hi!", to a new person I meet. Of course you need to follow that up with a tongue in the ear canal to ask them how they've been. I don't know.. Maybe I'm just too nice?

You aren't too nice, 54. You are just the right amount of nice. I would sneak up behind you and rub your shoulders to communicate my approval, if I knew you.

@58 a tad creepy. I imagine that's what happened to OP. *ooo you so fine.... ooo ima nibble on yo neck.... yeah... aahh yeah sugga*

If you ever see a guy walking around shirtless sporting a storm troopers mask, you'll now know it's me, 58. I'll never turn down a good ol' shoulder rub!

Did you slap him with a banana?* it's a good source of potassium

I remember seeing that #46! It was funny seeing the other persons FML haha

Doctor Who reference?

Mega kick to the balls!

You're just crazy

Awesome! :D I finally have an excuse for the police when I streak at football games. Wooo!

you goin to jail now

66, your comment has successfully destroyed the English language. It's a free-for-all! Raid all the libraries and bookstores and scoop up whatever dictionaries you can find! The apocalypse is here! Ugh...

Oh, okay, 76. "You're goin' to jail now!" Please don't throw a dictionary at me. Those hurt :(.

91, It's *going not goin'. If you're going to correct yourself, at least do a decent job at it.

94, they used an apostrophe to indicate slang, so completely correct in that context. goin'

Not if it's an "accidental" shoryuken.

In fact an apostrophe represents a missing letter, so really goin' is perfectly correct.

I love how you said one inch punch. Going straight Bruce Lee on that creeper. Ki Ya! Sound effects, they do work.

or it could lead to rape

Yes, #83. In the middle of the store... Some people...

This actually happened in my city. There was a random guy going up to girls and kissing them. It was kinda scary...

Oh, that's just nasty... !

When I was little, my mom played a "kissing bee" game with me. One day, my mom ran into the mother of a boy in my elementary school class and the boy's mom said that some girls kept chasing her poor Brian on the playground and saying they were kissing bees. Drats! Foiled again!

Uh a quick peck is ok but full on neck kissing is a little too sexual for public

"Mommy, why is that man eating that womans neck?"

Zombies!

o.o my father is a zombie??

Or a vampire.