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OP's boyfriend: "Hey guys, I got in a fight."

His friends: "DAMN! That dude fucked you up! What does he look like?"

OP's boyfriend: "Actually, I didn't fight back. It was my girlfriend."

Friends: "Hand over your Man Card, pussy."

  Ugi  |  26

I don't know about a douche but he sounds like an idiot. One with "issues" over his masculinity by the sounds of it.

Presumably he would lie and say some guy beat him up. While he's at it, why not just lie & say he won! Saves on the pain...