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Condoms break, the pill fails. Birth control is never 100% unless you use abstinence, and even that failed for Mary. I'm sure that if OP had been told he would have been doing something, but you can't say he was irresponsible in the first place because shit happens and he didn't know. Don't think that just because someone has an unplanned pregnancy that its because they were stupid or irresponsible; its rude and doesn't take other factors into consideration.

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@53 this makes me realize that throughout history there has only been one form of birth control that is 100% effective... Anal, we must preach this to the school children so that no one will ever get pregnant again until they want to. (This is not even semi serious, I'm only joking)

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They may mean that, but it's not how it was phrased, it was ambiguous. Oh and that's just not a realistic idea, it is fantasy land idealism. If it works for them, great; but for most adults sex is a normal part of a healthy relationship.

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you people are whining about should've wrapped it, and don't defend unplanned pregnancy. are we just gonna give her a free pass and ignore the fact that she fuckin got knocked up, left and never told him until it was most likely convenient for her?

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@71 Anal is not a really effective form of birth control; as far as I remember, it is slightly less effective than condoms (which is about 98%), and quite a bit less effective than correctly used pills (about 99.5%). All stats from memory; % are measured by number of women using that method exclusively that get pregnant in a year.

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I actually agree with you on this 53. I am an example of such a case. My mom was actually told she could not have children by 3 different doctors before I was born. By all rights I should not exist to be saying this yet I am

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# 89 Actually, no. Tube tying is not always 100% either. After I was born, my mother didn't want any more kids. ( I was number 3). She had her tubes tied. 6 years later, my kid sister pops out. The Fallopian tubes can reform and reconnect themselves to the Uterus after "x" amount of years. Even doctors say it's only 99% effective in the first year.

By  604

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5, do the world a favor and never have kids. I bet you've never experienced the pain of being abandoned by a parent and growing up wondering what you did wrong to make your father want to leave you alone, and often struggling. And I pray that the children you may have never have to experience it either.

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@34, I'm sorry you had to live through that, but the situation you are describing is nothing like OP's

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#34: If the OP's story is true (and we have no reason to think it's not), then the mother didn't even tell him about this child until six years later. Obviously that doesn't necessarily mean he's off the hook, but the OP is right to be suspicious at this point. Hopefully this is just a cruel prank by an ex.

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Thank you 38, though I'm not the one who has experienced an absentee father, many of my close friends have. And my focus was on 5's "run bro" comment, as 54 said.

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46- You're right, OP didn't abandon anyone. But in the context of 5's comment, it would be.

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That's fucking scary. I mean really, really fucking scary. There's just so much stuff that's screwed up here.

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It really isn't too complicated, #12. OP slept with his girlfriend and knocked her up. She then broke up with him, either knowing that she was pregnant and unwilling to tell him about it, or as oblivious to the fact as he was. OP's child is now a little over 5 years old, and she only now decided to tell him about it. Unless he has reason to believe she was unfaithful or the timelines don't match up, there isn't much of a mystery here.

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#16: After six years without contact, if this is the first she's told the OP about a child, he should be very suspicious. If it was his, why not contact the OP sooner? There's a real possibility that the child could have been conceived with somebody else long after she left the OP, and that she's now lying about the age of the child. At the very least, OP should get a paternity test.

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Some women either don't care to have the dad involved. Didn't think he'd care or want the child. As to now on the timing the kid should be old enough to start asking questions.

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#82: That's a pretty weak excuse then. Even if she thought OP was a terrible person and would make a bad father, at least she could've established paternity earlier and had him pay child support the past five years. If she really did wait six years to tell the OP, then I have some serious doubts about her fitness as a mother.

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He's not completely wrong. Many guys wonder, in the back of their minds, if the equipment works. While not the ideal circumstance, that's one of the only ways to tell.

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