By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 022
You deserved it 3 904

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

dirton89 7

FYL but gotta do what you gotta do. She understands hopefully

sleepinginclass 8

You were fine until you said to spray axe.


dirton89 7

FYL but gotta do what you gotta do. She understands hopefully

Ali_Br_fml 33

Even if she understands, don't u have to be in a certain mood to get intimate/enjoy it?(I'm assuming...) I think she'll think about it every time they decide to get intimate, & will have a hard time not thinking about their last time. but at least he didn't evacuate his bowels on her, the bed, or the floor... THAT would have been worse, especially if it was on her!

19, you worry too much. He'll just need to get her into the mood next time. And if she doesn't worry when her boyfriend suddenly gets strong stomach pain, she isn't a very good girlfriend.

#19 oh for crying out loud. I'm sure she can get over that, it's not a big deal. The guy got sick, that's all. Honestly she'd be really shallow if she cannot erase that from her memory or keep that at a funny story to laugh about together. I would not care and I'm a girl.

My boyfriend has IBS and sometimes will have to get up and go to the washroom for a while. He apologizes every time and I just tell him I want him to feel better. Once he showers we get back to sexy time. Some girls are like me and will understand, so hope it works out for you OP!

Ali_Br_fml 33

Yeah, but 28, she may keep thinking about it and have a hard time keeping a straight face, and he'll know she's thinking about what happened last time, and have trouble performing. How'd you feel if a girl just started laughing while you were trying your best to seduce her? She may not be laughing at you exactly, but at the sounds she heard the last time she was around you, and maybe she didn't find it repulsive, but too funny to keep out of her head, and now can't keep a straight face while around you, especially while doing the thing that brought about the last bout of bowel evacuation. It IS funny, but also VERY embarrassing for the person who did it. He may lose the mood, and she may be trying so hard not to laugh, she can't concentrate on what's going on right in front of her. (But then again, I really don't know that much about this, so I'm just assuming here, and yes, I know what happens when people assume.) Maybe I AM over-thinking... I do tend to over-think And I said that at least he didn't go on her, the bed or the floor, because THAT would have been bad. He made it to the restroom, so all is well if they can keep straight faces...

Am i the only one who thinks she practically said the same thing in all 4 paragraphs.

My boyfriend has gotten all kinds of sick when I've gone to his house several times, but I'm not so shallow that he disgusts me because of it. I've had a crazy runny nose, diarrhea, and vomiting, but that's what happens to people. When he kisses me, I don't think "Ew, he barfs out this much," or some shit. If you can't accept that people get sick, you need to grow up.

I doubt it. Girls don't poop so they're not sympathetic about these things

Ali_Br_fml 33

Omg 48, usually people stop reading after the 1st paragraph... I have to give you props. & I didn't mean to make them into paragraphs... I didn't even think it'd post with spaces.

Ali_Br_fml 33

& I didn't mean my comment as "eww, he just took a dump." I meant "haha I can't stop thinking about the sounds I heard coming out of the bathroom long enough to keep a straight face...and he may get too self conscious...& she'll keep trying to stay serious and be so busy with that that she's unable to get in the right mood"

cynide 13

Oh hey honey, you know those terrible sounds emitting from the bathroom? Yeah that was the cat. Definitely not me.

I blame it on the dog... No one ever suspects the dog...

Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition.

NickaPLZ 26

Next time, when someone suggests Taco Bell, you'll shoot them down.

If ur gf is that immature, ur too young. And remember. Up the bum no babies. If u get there.

fylx100 19

Go away. FML is not the place for you.

TheManager 6

Grammar nazi atomic bomber has been dispatched.

Even if they were, I doubt OP, who is a guy, was receiving it.

KiddNYC1O 20

Maybe she wanted to "break it in".

But how would the girl get in the guy? She doesn't have the parts for that. She had an innie not an outie.

KiddNYC1O 20

^ I hope you're STRAPped ON for the explanation I'm about to give you... Eh, never mind.

That's the problem with being an only child. You miss out on learning a few things growing up.

The first part: FML. The second: If she doesn't like you because you have to take a shit, that's on her. Just clean out the toilet and spray axe (or equivalent) all over the toilet bowl.

sleepinginclass 8

You were fine until you said to spray axe.

Yeah I know that it was an error, but I had to resort to such desperate measures last time a similar story happened to me. I never use Axe, but it's what I get gifted, so instead of throwing it away I put it to good use.

OhhhMaryy 12

You will! My boyfriend farts in front of me all the time, we'll be laying down and he just starts farting, and he can still

I think that would put me off a little if he's constantly doing it. Seems gross to me really if he does it a lot.

OhhhMaryy 12

Well at the beginning it was kinda nasty, but we've been together for 3 years now so it's pretty normal now, you get used to the good and the bad of a person when you're with them so long.

Jordath_Fil 11

Can we not and forget you opened your mouth in the first place? Please?

alexhaz64 4

If she's your girlfriend, there will most likely be another shot. Now if it was a random hookup, I doubt she'd be back. But it's just poop.