Miscellaneous: Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years,...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 16:14 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 561

You deserved it 3 374

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 157

You deserved it 3 543

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 3 064

By I keep failing it all - 02/06/2013 19:45 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 921

You deserved it 3 950

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 1 137

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 312

By seb21 - 09/02/2009 02:32 - United States

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 511

You deserved it 2 315

By Kellye - 16/09/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 332

You deserved it 2 522

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 04:03

Today, I was involved in an intense argument with my dad. Just as I yelled, "You haven't done one thing for me", my phone rang. The same phone that, as of today, my dad no longer pays the bill for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 5 060

Nice to know

By rejectedson - 15/10/2009 23:23 - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 2 251

That was quick

By dumbdad - 08/09/2010 00:25 - United States

Today, my estranged dad drunk-dialed me at 4 a.m. to apologize, and to make amends. After crying and forgiving, we hung up. Minutes later, he called back to retract everything he said after remembering how I was rude to him at a party 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 3 280

omgjustno 7

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:04

Say it's in the same place as all your lost birthday and holiday presents from him

FALLENSEBZERO 16

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:03

Tell him its up his ass if he wants to be so rude.

Comments

ForeverFat 12

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:02

First! Hahaha

FALLENSEBZERO 16

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:03

Tell him its up his ass if he wants to be so rude.

Kc1001 14

Monday 17 June 2013 5:08

"it's up your ass. go look for it."

rapunzel3416 28

Monday 17 June 2013 6:16

Hey this is my FML reworded and resubmitted! I was robbed

nsempsrott 2

Monday 17 June 2013 10:11

I would phrase it "With your head. Up your ass."

cuppycakeslove 20

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:03

Demand where he was all those years you two didn't speak.

omgjustno 7

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:04

Say it's in the same place as all your lost birthday and holiday presents from him

pandalover69 26

Monday 17 June 2013 2:48

Damn you took the words right out of my mouth

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 17 June 2013 6:19

It must have been while I as kissing you.

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 17 June 2013 6:23

*was

Kittem 10

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:05

Tell him it's in the last place he took you out to dinner/had special bonding time with you. THAT might have him straining his mind for a while.

Harshdfml 14

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:06

Ask him to choose : a kick in the balls or a punch in the gut?

duhhspammerx3 16

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:08

Say that he's got the wrong number?

scottyspot 11

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:09

Tell him you had one from a long time ago, but you misplaced it due to not seeing him in so long.

XxWolfyGirlXx 16

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:10

I feel ya there. Just had something similar happen

Kitten_Lover 8

Sunday 16 June 2013 23:11

Ask him where your presents are. I bet he'll hang up and never call you again. Problem solved! :)

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The Top

Today, my dad brought home a used hunk of junk from someone he knew. It was covered in rust and dents, and the engine was making weird noises. Thinking he was being generous, he said to me, "When you get your license, you'll be driving it!" It then died with a loud bang and black smoke from under the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 82

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 690

You deserved it 3 028

The Top

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 201

You deserved it 3 922

Today, I got dumped after about a four year relationship. Feeling lonely and depressed, I posted on facebook, "is hurt, someone please text or call me." Then one of my cousins commented, "no one text him." His comment got 17 "likes." No one got in contact with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 426

You deserved it 9 729

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 317

You deserved it 7 606

Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 407

You deserved it 41 841

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 186

You deserved it 4 636

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 233

You deserved it 12 140

Same thing different taste

Close to me

Bigmouth Strikes Again

Nice to know

That was quick

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