Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
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Top comments
NomNomMuffin 5
Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?
Rainbowbright99 4
Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)
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Comments (190)
NBL_fml 8
I hear those things are hard to get rid of.
mimiminx 23
You are disgusting. Change your sheets! Urgh!
sissors1234 4
U can't blame her. Beg bugs happen. Just like lice does. I bet u $20.00 u have had live b4. What if I told u , u got lice because ur gross and unclean? So stfu
Discombobulated9 12
I'm a very clean person and I got infested by bedbugs via sleeping in a friends spare room (which was infested). These little buggers can cling to your clothes, etc...and then your own bed becomes infested. Oh, and they can also hide away on the frame of your bed, so cleaning your bed sheets doesn't always solve the problem.
mimiminx 23
Getting lice is not the same as bed bugs. Lice are not a product of poor hygiene but bed bugs are. This is a fact.
sissors1234 4
Ewwwwwwwwwww. That's gross. Nbd just change the sheets take a shower wash the pillows and scrub down the mattress. And ur all good. : )
Spazz420 7
That's nasty! Bed bugs are an epidemic in America. Glad I don't live there
phatdaddy62 23
We too are glad that you don't live here.
cutiee108 5
Shut up
jezebel1979 3
Ewww
rebeccac3 5
That's disgusting!
dxstrikesback 2
and today my fellow soldiers.....we attack temples on the twin mounds.....
CharliesCool2084 8
I think someone needs to change the sheets.
merser 7
OMG! that's gross time for a new bed