Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
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Top comments
NomNomMuffin 5
Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?
Rainbowbright99 4
Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)
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Comments (190)
bagelpie 6
Free breast augmentation! :)
venxtus12 3
I Neva had a prob with voting big guy
venxtus12 3
And sorry about it but at least u have a good big busty boobs
ffrostay 5
Such a random fml
zykrithium 22
Lucky buggers
Alanni Anway 6
use tea tree oil!! gets rid of them fast and easy and its all natural so its also good for you too!!!