Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML
Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML
Today, after much measuring with a tape measure, comparing with my sisters and even asking my husband for his opinion, I'm forced to admit that without a bra on, my boobs now sag so much my nipples hang down to the level of my belly button. FML
Today, as I bent over to pick up my baby, a wasp flew into my bra. I jumped up in a panic, flattening the wasp between my boob and my bra, where it stung me on the nipple, which is now swollen, a funny colour, and throbbing. Did I mention the nipple was already irritated from breastfeeding? FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
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Top comments
NomNomMuffin 5
Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?
Rainbowbright99 4
Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)
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Comments (190)
felixthemaster 6
lucky bed bugs!!
chokefrantic 9
Bed bugs want some milk!
Blackyx3 7
Omg! U r just like spiderman !!! Super Powers ftw!
unluckyv 7
pics or it didnt happen
perdix 31
That's certainlly a lot cheaper than a conventional boob job. I'm sure all the attention you get from men with you big voluptuous boobs will offset the pain of the chronic insect bites. Same principle as high heels;)
natestuh_17 2
Pics or it didn't happen...
stillfedupfromla 3
Well, whatever works for you...B 2 C err what?
CoconutOil 7
Breast feeding bed bugs is very uncommon I suppose!
ManicGypsy 22
FYI for just having to deal with bed bugs. They are pesky little critters and cost a small fortune to get rid of. Generally you can not get rid of them without shelling out thousands of dollars to a professional.
tehranken 6
That would be bad if your boobs were large to begin with.....or would it?