Anonymous
Sneaky
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
awkardtaco
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
MBean
The Valley, Anguilla
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
ant_hater
United States
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
unsuckable
Denver, United States
Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML
kp.
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Gotta have it
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
willkftw
Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML
my butt is lava
Custer, United States
Nature isn't healing
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
ewicsmelly
United States
Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Top comments
tounces7 28
Try getting some silicone and seal every possible crack or crevice that they can come out of. Except, you know, THAT crevice.
zeffra13 31
Terro liquid ant baits work well, try putting them anywhere you see them coming in. Borax powder (may find in soap section, can be used in laundry) along any windows, doors, walls with cracks. 409, Windex, etc sprays will kill them on the spot if you don't want to mess with insecticides indoors. If you have pets, keep their food dishes inside a bigger dish with water to act as a moat. Ants are attracted to leaky sinks and such too, so make sure your pipes aren't dripping.
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Comments (12)
neverfind 20
Ants need love too!
zeffra13 31
Terro liquid ant baits work well, try putting them anywhere you see them coming in. Borax powder (may find in soap section, can be used in laundry) along any windows, doors, walls with cracks. 409, Windex, etc sprays will kill them on the spot if you don't want to mess with insecticides indoors. If you have pets, keep their food dishes inside a bigger dish with water to act as a moat. Ants are attracted to leaky sinks and such too, so make sure your pipes aren't dripping.
jkjorn 18
So you're thinking the ant was drawn to her leaky pipe?
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
... and now your pregnant with the ants baby?
tounces7 28
Try getting some silicone and seal every possible crack or crevice that they can come out of. Except, you know, THAT crevice.
RichardPencil 32
Give up on fighting them and become their queen. It's a losing battle to be anti-ant.
graayfox215 15
And that’s how antman came to life
PirateSnozzle 8
How on earth did the ant get to your vag?!
julfunky 29
Crawled up her leg obviously.
jriley4u 17
Where were her clothes??
Surewhatever 36
I've lived in my apartment for over 4 years with no ant or bug problems. Suddenly, every crumb seems to bring hundreds, and I have an eight year old that loves to walk around snacking (not with my permission). I was sitting cross-ankled on my couch in boxers when I had to remove the creature from an undesirable location =\
Major_Haywire 7
At least you’re getting some action