By must.not.itch. - 02/06/2012 23:25 - United States - Hayward

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 761
You deserved it 3 190

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?

Rainbowbright99 4

Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)


Changing the sheets sounds like a good plan eh?

Not when there's magic boon growing bugs living in them!

rcgirl2 11

More like burning the sheets never to see them again.

ripresno 10

Hey nutty4muffs and every other commenter, when you comment your comment can be edited within like 120 seconds before it becomes final. Just saying so if you catch an error you can fix it. = )

PYLrulz 17

24 - Might have done it on the iPhone app, and sometimes, that can be a bitch to deal with Also could be more than 120 seconds between posts (one post at 7:45:00, and the other at 7:47:45)


Woah now, dont get hasty, we all know that if the sheets go, her breast sizes go down with them, and nobody wants that, am I right?

blueandpurpleroc 4

I think burning the bed with the sheets would be sufficient.

Yes, 24, I would have, if not for my app's flood protection. I know I can edit it, and maybe I will next time to spare myself the sass.

Score one bugs getting to second base!

Llamacod 11

nuttyformuffs, I also enjoy a good boob*****

arcanevandal 0

I recently just found bed bugs in my room and the best thing to do is to burn everything in the infected room. Anything you can't burn or don't want to burn (such as clothes) should be bagged and set out in a sunny spot for a few days to heat up. Putting clothes in the dryer also works. Bed bugs may also lay eggs in the carpet. What I personally did was sprayed Hot Shot bed bug spray (can be found at Walmart) all over the carpet and every crack and crevice. I then set a Hot Shot bed bug bomb off in the room. After that, I steam cleaned the carpet. I haven't seen any since the treatment, so I hope they're gone for good.

They can love for 11 months without eating.. Chances are if you didn't get a professional in they are just hiding out waiting.. I know from experience.

Greendaycheese 12

I, too can love for eleven months. Ladies?

beelee1988 13
kyuhyunn 0

Sheets don't do anything, they're BEDbugs not SHEETbugs.

Rainbowbright99 4

Woooo hoooo big boobs! (and tasty nipples to boot!)

Especially with all the puss and whatnot that's bound to fester

Your saying this and your a women. Wow.

Your saying this and your a women. Wow.

Trisha_aus 15

Whaaaaaat?!?!?? Women can't say boobies? Btw, I couldn't resist.. *you're saying And as a woman she's allowed to call them whatever the **** she wants.

FMLshark 12

39, you made no sense. I'm pretty sure she's only capable of being one woman. So while I'm at it, *woman. You must be new here...or to the world in general, if you found that comment shocking. Living under a rock sounds terrible.

men, gays, lesbians, and women love boobies. conclusion: boobs are awesome.

Oh whoops. It messed my sentence up.

thrAsHeRr9081 16

105 - Don't try to blame autocorrect. Just accept the fact that you failed and move on.

crazyluvbug 8

Yay a cutie lesbian! :)) we need more of them!

perdix 29

#92. You forgot babies. Babies love boobies and they are the only ones who use them for their secondary purpose.

SuxForUButtmunch 2

128 actually babies like boobs for their primary* purpose, as boobs are meant for feeding babies. Appealing to others sexually is their secondary purpose

109 - he didn't try to blame it on autocorrect, he said he made a mistake. So maybe you should accept the fact that you failed.

raybillionbongen 0
blondebrunette11 4

But if they attract bugs..?

Not only will she have 2 nipples she'll have plenty because of the bug bites

Your profile pic is a girl.., wait , nevermind . I forgot I hated people who couldn't take a joke

Try rubbing toilet paper between your boobs to make them bigger....... Cos it worked on your ass :)

PYLrulz 17

Apparently, she just needed bed bugs to pull off that job

I heard that joke somewhere before... Oh yah, 7th grade. That was it.

flockz 19

take this as a sin that making secant hand comments like this is not the right angle to approach the comments section. something of this magnitude means that making obtuse comments are never seen in acute way, but rather a parallel to a person's infinite stupidity. instead, find an area to lay down and tan yourself while eating some pi and gulping some beer. but remember, just don't drink and derive!

BunchieRules 31

Flocks, I have to say, I learned more from that comment than I did in an entire year of geometry. :/

Keattles 14

Try rubbing some on ur head, my you'll writ better comments

Lol 90 ur picture goes great with ur comment

Your long-winded and long-worded rant would've been so much cooler if you didn't make so terribly many spelling mistakes.

bengermin 5

Mosquito bite boobs joke, anyone?

robinhood007 9

Well at least you have the thought of bigger boobs to make this experience not as bad.

AnthonyWheeler15 24

So is it good to let the bed bugs bite?

heyy_tharr_ 5

I see what you did there! Yayyy smart, funny people!(:

Ew. Never heard of the word cleanliness? Wash your sheets & take a shower.... YDI

Angelwings31 4

You do realize even the cleanest person can get bed bugs, right? Please do your research -.-'

Actually bed bugs go after the cleanest person.

32- Well thankfully I've never had bed bugs, therefore I have never had a reason to research them.... Though I assume if I did research it like you have obviously taken the time to do that very rarely does it happen to clean people. OP did not state that she was living in a clean environment or not, so to me it seems to me it is highly possible that it definitely could have been time to wash her sheets. So getting on my case as though you know more about the situation that was posted was uncalled for. Unless you personally know OP and know she is a clean person, but my guess is that you don't. I was just stating my opinion, which happens to be some advice that she may highly need to take. And I know I'm not the ONLY one on this site that feels this is disgusting.

58- I am an extremely clean and tidy person and have never had to deal with this unfortunate event.

Someone could've saved themselves a lot of typing by simply only posting their second response.

You're right, I very well could have, but I don't need some 16 year old girl getting snotty with me when there was no need. She could have simply thumbed down & moved on. :)

mariesexxxface 13

Hecallsmedarlin you're a moron. That is all.

hecallsmedarlin, just shut up and get out, you clearly don't have the faintest idea of what you're talking about.

Being messy or not usually has nothing to do with a pest problem, besides roaches. When it comes to things like bed bugs, fleas, or lice, it's usually an unfortunate circumstance, and it's never as easy as washing the sheets to get rid of them. 70, the more you talk, the more ignorant you seem. You should quit while you're ahead. Which would have been 4 comments ago.

unknown_user5566 26

Did anyone else get the impression that hecallsmedarlin spent a lot of time and effort trying to make her comments sound intelligent by using a diction which was clearly unnatural for her?

Hecallsmedarlin - From all of your comments that I've seen on both this FML and others, I've decided that you're a total moron and an utter stuck up bitch. I'm probably not the only one who's made this judgement either. Also, you're actually wrong, like everyone has said. Bed bugs have nothing to do with cleanliness. Ever heard of the term assumption is the mother of all **** ups? Yeah.

AliceLockehart 18

If you assume, you make an ass out of you & me. :)

Teabubbles 8

hecallesmedarlin- Calm down. This is just the FML community. Everyone is allowed to post a comment to your comment especially if they are right. Angelwings31 was simply stating an opinion too. I've got thumb down before and it's not that big of a deal. Before you defend yourself by being smart, try reading up on bed bugs. They are just as unfotunate and come with no cause or fault.

I know I've said this more than enough times, but I couldn't agree more with the point 104 has. I get more negatively voted comments than I'd like, but I have gotten over the fact that I make stupid comments on occasion and the best I can hope for is that my next comment on the next FML will be better.

64. from your own words, "I bet I'm not the only person on this site who thinks you're a bitch."

12-So, becaise it didn't happen to you, that makes it impossible for any other clean person to get bed bugs, and it gives you the right to make comments like that about another persons situation that you also don't know anything about? Seems legit...... -.-

KawiRacer69 5

hecallsmedarlin your ******* stupid and dont look clean

xXxIracebethxXx 14

#83 - I thought the exact same thing. Hecallsmedarlin - Quit talking, just do the simple research, and don't pull information out of your ass.

70 - stupid people that try to defend their ignorance annoy me.

Hecallsmedarlin... "she could have simply thumbed me down and moved on" ... I think you just need to move on, how many times have you been told to quit commenting? Take the advice and just stop.

84 You're saying not to make assumptions but yet you're assuming that she's a stuck up bitch?

84- are you really that simple, or did you not read the entire comment? Almost Every single one of her comments have been stuck up, stupid, misinformed and or bitchy. Every time she comments, she gets thumbed down because of this. So judging by that, well yeah, most people are going to make the judgement that she is in fact a bitch. It's not assumption when there's clear evidence, dear ;)

Hecallsmedarlin lookin at all the rebuttals against your comments you just might be the. Only one that thinks this is disgusting lol.

Wow. I make one comment about the FML & everyone is so butthurt about what I have to say. This makes me a stuck up bitch? You all are seriously rude as **** and way to concerned about a simple comment. MY BAD THAT I DIDNT RESEARCH BED BUGS! Holy ****! So sorry that it is my understanding that people who are dirty are more likely to get bed bugs than someone who is ******* clean. That is ALL I was getting at. And you know what, I'm probably ******* right on that fact because being clean you are less likely to get any kind of nasty infestation!!! Wtf is wrong with me pointing that out?!?!? Seriously! That in no way what so ever makes me a moron... It's common sense that the cleaner you are and the more you take care of yourself the less likely you will get any nasty shit on or around you.... Common sense! Why is that such a problem for all of you? You all are acting like I threatened someone's life, or I stated something horribly wrong. That doesn't make me a stuck up bitch Gothic whatever your name is... I'm not stuck up at all, you know nothing about me? You seem to be the bitch by being completely rude to me when I have never said a damn word to you....

Again, hecallsmedarlin, a simple ******* google search would prove you wrong about your "cleanliness theory" bed bugs are just as attracted to dirty people as they are to clean people. ******* it, and quit assuming. I believe it's more or less you just annoy the shit out of quite a few people with your obnoxious comments, and honestly need to get the picture, or just stop.

168- i have posted only a few comments on this site since I have been on it.... Again, MY BAD for not researching bed bugs before posting my comment... Wasn't aware everyone was going to freak the **** out on me. I believe everyone is taking it a little to extreme though.. Don't think I did anything wrong... I guess besides not researching bed bugs?! Lol. Seriously blows my mind that there are this many people full of hate.. Though, it really IS a fact that the cleaner your surroundings, and cleaner you keep yourself, the less likely you will get some sort of bug infestation.... That is not an assumption at all, purely fact. I never said its not possible to happen, but check's less likely. So I'm not completely wrong.

unknown_user5566 26

You are pissing everyone off because you apparently lack any trace of humility. Despite being told over and over again that cleanliness has nothing- I repeat, NOTHING- to do with bed bugs, you refuse you admit that you are wrong. I've been proven wrong on this site before. When that happens, I usually say: "My bad! You are totally right." and then I move on. You, on the other hand, feel it's necessary to defend yourself despite the fact that you have no reason to. You were wrong. Get the **** over it, and try again with another post, on another FML.

I'm just going to have to agree with 171, apparently just CAN'T own up. You are wrong! Cleanliness has nothing to do with this. Go ahead and keep believing you're right, but it's false.

Here's a scenario, Ms. Cleanliness. A friend comes over to your oh-so-clean house with some flea eggs, or better yet, we'll stick with the theme of the argument, bed bugs that have tucked away in his clothes. In the course of his visit, said bed bugs dislodge and proceed to reproduce like mice all over your house. Now, even though you live a clean life, you have bed bugs. So please do us all a favor and quit replying trying to defend yourself, because I just blew your entire argument out of the water.

^ dude, I ******* GET IT! I knooooow you can get it from traveling, being in someone else's house, having someone in yours. I KNOW THAT, okay?? ALL I said it is just less likely the more you take care of yourself and your surroundings. Why is that so hard for everyone to except?! Yes it can be unfortunate and happen to anyone, k? ******* a people just leave it alone, let it go & drop it. Holy shit you all are ******* uptight, cranky & snotty as shit. Saying that I am is a ******* joke. Goodbye to you all that are freaking out over a comment about BED BUGS. Hahaha...I hope you realize how stupid that is that that is what you all are freaking out on me over. Get a life & lay off the really isn't as big of deal as you all are making it out to be by ganging the **** up on me. Shit. BYE. Stop freaking out on me. K. Thanks. Find someone else to interrogate now over...oh, I don't know...earwax?

beelee1988 13

hecallsmedarlin- I'm not going to.get into the huge argument that you were all in. I've dealt with bed bugs and have done as much research on them as I possibly could, so I do know the facts. But anyways, point is... you need to calm down and relax. It's just FML. Don't need to have a hissy fit. Be the bigger person and leave it alone. If you're wrong... be wrong. If you're right.. be right. But my point here is, when everyone started calling you a stuck up bitch, you started to act like one. Therefore proving them all right. Have a nice day.

I find it funny that you complain and call us judgmental yet you are very quick to the punch to insult us over the Internet (at the same time complaining it's only the Internet). If I get thumbed down immediately and are told that I am wrong, especially on something that is not an opinion, I try and remember to pull myself off FML and load up Safari to check up on whatever the heck I'm talking about. That's just me, but I suggest getting into that habit. Immediately assuming you are right about something easily google-able and arguing against someone else usually doesn't go very well. This website/app may have it's fair share of people who are complete trolls who never say anything worth reading, but there are a good portion of smart people on here that care about wether or not you have integrity. I hope you read this and understand what I'm trying to get you to understand. It'll make you a better person.

Whether* Quick to the punch to insult? I believe I said; cranky, snotty & uptight. Way less horrible than what everyone else on here is calling me. Only thing else I said was to quit ganging up on me over something so stupid. It's obviously 1 against 20, so is it really that wrong of me to try and stick up for myself when I'm getting called a bitch, stuck up, a moron & so on? No, I don't believe it is.. I in no way deserved to be treated so shitty by a bunch of people who seem to be complete assholes.. Maybe I am a real person & it actually hurt my feelings a tad that after i see two comments I get back on and there is over 20 different people saying things that are completely uncalled for to me. As I have stated, "my bad for not researching bed bugs!" has no one seen that the oh I don't know past 5 times? Anyway...make me a better person huh? Well since you don't know me I don't feel that is up to you to decide that I am a shitty person... I am a good person and everyone that personally knows me, knows that about me. I'm told all the time what a great person and how kind and sweet I am... So what people on the Internet think doesn't really matter. Like I said you don't know me so assuming I am a shitty person...well, that's a little ****** up in my opinion. Have a great day though. I'm way overly done with these arguments. Again, I'm sorry I didn't research bed bugs and that it is such a problem. Didn't know I would acquire so many haters. Again, have a great day. Goodbye

*accept* I had ignored this mistake until I saw you correct someone in a comment below. I decided I needed to go back and call you out. You insulted someone using incorrect information and that is why you got the response you did. Then your responses and arguments were bitchy as others stated.

What? Male beg bugs like em' ta-ta's too!

Male bed bugs mate by ripping open the stomach of the female and depositing semen there. I know, unrelated but this comment reminded me of that :|