Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
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Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
Ray_of_midnight 23
"Try not to suck any dicks on your way through the parking lot!"
maharb01 17
"hey you, get back here!" classic. can't understand why you are down voted here, I figured that line would get pulled out WAY earlier in this thread. Well done
sig4life 18
Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.
midnightyell 6
You do know that "about six" actually means "at least twelve".
dancer824 18
.
wryguy2765 8
Why do guys get so bent out of shape by their partners sexual history
lil_ham1644 29
Same reason girls do.
YoursAlways98 13
Lol sorry but ydi for asking :p
coolbeansbruh 13
*practicing
Nerdgurl86 18
I too have been asked that awkward question, more than once. Always baffled me why men would ask that. As long as it feels good, don't worry about it.
DogeMan 14
Prbly talked after it
AwkwardTurtle97 11
That really blows