Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
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Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
chicz 6
Lol thats actually good, it will prolly be 60 when I get married. So id rather not ask xD
Nessco 36
At least it was only 6.
THEEEEO 3
"About 6" is lady talk for at least 12. Not that the number matters..
Goblin182 27
3 questions you never ask a lady. How much do you weigh, how old are you, and how did you get good at giving head.
Vlen_fml 20
and then Ashton Kutcher ran into the room to scream BUUUUURN! right?
danm19 15
Hey at least she still does that. A lot of women stop after getting married
ShenaniganNinja 20
YDI. One, you already know the answer, and two, it's not an answer you want to hear.
Awesome_Ninjaz 12
Let's just assume they have been married for 5 years and she has given him gobbies within that 5 years... Doesn't sound so cheerful now does it?
davek 36
"I agree, your wife sucks"
BrotherPhil 35
"And aren't you glad about that?"
BananaButt42 9
That's not the right kinda sexual questions you are meant to be asking... People don't like to imagine that the person they are doing stuff with has a history with someone else even though questions like "whats your favorite position?" is a turn on but you don't want to know how that person knows that they like it.