Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
John Coltrane
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Timing
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Over and out
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
goddessafrodite 6
Why is this an FML. You knew she was a grown woman with a past before you met her right? I think you did. Get over it!
AcieMcG 21
This is why I don't say anything when my boyfriend says this XD
atheon 2
You are lucky number 7 man!!!
sunnydays13 0
I honestly don't know what guys expect to hear when they ask this question lol, every time a guy asks me this, I have no idea what im supposed to say
sarah2453 17
Practicing** just saying
fantasyworld 39
Did you expect her to be a virgin before you met her?
iamtinkerbell 3
I don't know what you expected her to say??? No girl is naturally good. Practice makes perfect.
IntroPlex 3
Practicing*
chrddajr 19
Only six your lucky?
kevinsagirl2323 8
so you would have preferred she lie to You? did you think she'd never done it before you?