Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
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Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
Al3xv3l92 24
Don't ask just enjoy it's never gonna be a good answer.
lalaney 14
If she only gave 6 guys ******** before you, you're lucky.
Arcanel 18
Well what did you expect? If things get serious with a women for me I have that talk with her. I tell her I understand she has had "adventures"with other men but I NEVER want to hear about them. Let me live in my delusional world that I was the first, try it might OP !
Imareth 10
What on earth did you think the answer would be?
BlondeRat 4
Wow imagine that a grown women would have some sexual experience before she met you.
Lefty_Guns 16
Wow, imagine that a grown woman doesn't know the difference between "woman" and "women". (I agree with the sentiment of your comment, but I just had to...)
lholifield23 12
Well atleast she was honest
sullivankeara 25
Like you haven't been around the block...
GallowsRaven 3
Seriously who cares how many people she's had in the past. she's there with you now. What did you honestly expect she was going to say when you asked her?
Malecent 13
It's so funny because, if his girlfriend was asking him and he responded with something similar, the comments would be filled with "Next time buy him an xs condom" etcetera etcetera.
limabeans101029 21
Probably not
Lefty_Guns 16
I know what you mean... people would be saying "what a douche, dump him!"
BrotherPhil 35
That's the benefit of marrying a woman with experience. Not the sort of thing that blokes usually look for in a woman, but now you know why they lose out if they're scared of being compared.