Intimacy: Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 676

You deserved it 22 531

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 664

You deserved it 61 921

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 141

You deserved it 22 222

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 651

You deserved it 1 208

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 59 128

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 4 456

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 196

You deserved it 5 590

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 593

You deserved it 3 081

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 137

You deserved it 23 561

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 677

You deserved it 6 206

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 18 708

Shemp_5 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:56

Dont ask, dont tell...

ScottVining 21

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:57

You sorta had that comin haha

Comments

laaryssa 21

Monday 1 December 2014 4:34

At least she said before you

fatman27 3

Monday 1 December 2014 4:58

What did you expect? Really?

caleb_9756 14

Monday 1 December 2014 5:01

This was wild from start to finish.

chikinscratch00 8

Monday 1 December 2014 5:07

lol that's hella funny

CaroAurelia 12

Monday 1 December 2014 5:07

That's awkward, so I won't say you deserve it, but you did kind of walk into that one.

Hash13 13

Monday 1 December 2014 5:15

Well, golden rule 'never ask'. All of us have been burnt by it.

TPrice21 2

Monday 1 December 2014 5:23

Well, you asked

JKPwnage 27

Monday 1 December 2014 5:29

Practicing*

tiffanyslapp 18

Monday 1 December 2014 5:45

Does the number matter? Relax, dude.

Parvati48 15

Monday 1 December 2014 5:59

Hopefully she meant 6 exs not 6 guys while you were married...

cjwayy 22

Monday 1 December 2014 6:12

Exactly, there is very subtle **** shaming in this FML

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The Top

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 863

You deserved it 38 334

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 768

You deserved it 2 801

Today, I had an important Powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my Mac, saying, "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 10 556

Today, it's difficult being a single woman in my city: The female/male ratio is 3:1, and the last 3 dates I've been on were with a guy who kept asking for nudes, an aggressive raging alcoholic, and what turned out to be a married man. I'm seriously considering adopting several more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 003

You deserved it 1 059

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 781

You deserved it 3 652

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 064

You deserved it 3 986

Same thing different taste

John Coltrane

Timing

Over and out

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