Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
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Top comments
Shemp_5 14
Dont ask, dont tell...
ScottVining 21
You sorta had that comin haha
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Comments (102)
cjwayy 22
So?? As long as those six guys weren't during your marriage, there's nothing wrong with that.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Yep, that's about the only way this isn't a YDI. If the OPs wife suddenly got better at it after they were married I can understand why he'd want to ask. Otherwise I do have to wonder if the reason he's really upset is because she's not the 7th woman do do that to him and he's feeling he missed out.
ganydit 3
Sounds like Op might have foud said bj better than usual... I say it happen between now and last time he got a bj... That really sucks
dark_knight99 14
Ewww no offense, but six guys before you? Wow wonder how many times she had done it to each guy. ?
limabeans101029 21
Depending on their age, six really isn't that many. And why does it matter anyway?
limabeans101029 21
.
raphael1123 13
About.
deequu 20
Since she's your wife, I would have thought she'd be familiar with your 'dirty talk' kind of thing. I get asked that all the time and I always reply with stuff like "from giving you many ******** baby *wink*" or whatever. Maybe she's angry with you about something?
321_Serenity_123 2
Only six? You've got nothing too complain about dude....
DisturbedSRT8 17
At least you wife will give you a *******!
sarabb 3
She was obviously kidding
pdp_fml 21
Your wife should have lied and told you that she has natural talent, but next time don't ask.
Fou_Lou 20
You married someone without ever having talked about your sexual past? Thats kinda weird.