By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 036
You deserved it 59 022
Intimacy
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Top comments

etishuman22 32

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing either. In fact, I haven't.

712 5
Welshite 39

You need to polish up on your "dirty talk".

442 6

Comments

etishuman22 32

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing either. In fact, I haven't.

712 5
Gingerette 8

Yeah. I seriously doubt any amount of love could keep someone from laughing at that line. I doubt it stopped the progression of things between OP and his woman, though, too.

49 2
etishuman22 32

I should hope they still kept going! Laughter is the language of love! I've had times where my boyfriend and I broke down into laughter over something during sexy time. It's something normal and fun. :)

65 3
tjv3 10

What does that even mean OP?

29 3
Chris93Jones 20

I'm hoing to use this line just to see reactions. thanks, OP

17 1
areyouforcereal 7

"I will go up and down on you. I will rub my naked body against your naked body until it's raw and red"

0 7
Welshite 39

You need to polish up on your "dirty talk".

442 6
Nyx_fml 23

Come on, give OP some suggestions on what to say.

40 2
Pwn17 25

"My dick is the truth. You can't handle it."

141 1
amphetamin3 17

"Bend over and touch your toes, I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes."

126 3
TheAbstract 15

"I will gouge out your eyes and skull-**** you!"

Voij 16

"I will carress you relatively softly!" Or is that going too far already? Don't wanna come off as a roughnut.

93 2
RedPillSucks 31

Bend over and I'll drive you home.

7 33
\ 28

Uh, "let us unite our flesh."

67 10
suboy 10

Theres a fine line between dirty talk and **** talk

52 2
apu_nahasapeemap 10

OP needs to learn to walk before he can run. Start with the basics. "I'm gonna shag you silly, baby" and so forth.

31 2
amisenho 11

"Everything I'm about to do to you, I learned at SeaWorld."

78 1
illegalbeagle69 23

"I'm gonna fart on your face! and shit on these walls!! and pee in your mouth!!" - Brandon. err Brenda

34 8
HelloooooNurse 20

So, how many of you are quoting Super Troopers?

13 2
Somefruits 24

"I'll dance on your boobies and jump up and down on your butt!"

18 2
8born8 18

You are what you eat, and tomorrow I want to be you.

24 2
8313girl 28

My dick is the truth?! That beats OP's husband's saying hands down lmao

4 11
hannahsnyder69 16

It's my dick in a box

10 1
dawnimus 21

"I want to pound you like yesterday's beef" -Eleanor, The Mighty Boosh

7 0
BellaBear90 27

I think most of us are laughing right now. But good on you for trying something a little different! Just maybe not that.

277 1
little_one1 14

OP, stick to BEING dirty in the sheets. Maybe you guys should try kinky fuckery of some sort? Handcuffs and eye masks go great together. Just sayin'!

14 1
flashback.miss 28

pffft! oh come on, sooner or later, you'll have to laugh at this XD to her, it probably just seemed like an odd thing to say in that sort of situation.

102 7
usernaaame 4

YDI. What does that even mean?

24 74
MzZombicidal 36

I may be wrong, but I think they were asking what "dick her down good" meant.

119 2
LanaViolin 10

Jesus OP you can't just say something like that You're supposed to dick her up...

127 4
BillMurray_fml 12

You've gotta give her the ol' lickeroo first.

33 2
RedPillSucks 31

Is that a Kangaroo from Lizard Lick NC??

3 13
xxrogerthatxx 19

Lmaoo, ydi for thinking that was sexy. C for effort, F for assignment failed.

15 63
gAt_d 26

I'm guessing this is your first time dirty talking.

89 1
CobraLazerFace 21

What's next? Him bringing a saxophone in bed to swoon her?

7 0
The_Tenth_Doctor 14

I wouldn't even know how to respond to that.

116 1
RawrImaDragon 18

I don't know how to respond to most dirty talk :/

18 1
GwennaRose 22

FML should post a feature about dirty talk and teach us how to respond...

9 0
SWC_Penguin 17

Sometimes spontaneity is fun, but maybe next time you should plan ahead and write some down first.

37 1
Welshite 39

He'll have to write out a whole script next time to avoid this kind of spontaneity.

22 0