camp
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
laughingflame
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Anonymous
Buzau, Romania 🌶️ Spicy
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ygma
Mansfield, United States
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
caught
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
sonofahypocriticalwhore
United States
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Anonymous
Scarborough, Canada
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
but cum to think of it...
🌶️ Spicy
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
TheOrpheus 0
sucks
bejeeezus 0
lol@ #29
cecilia_weasley 0
Next time you know to lock the door. Make the best of bible camp if you ARE made to go there.
GinoMan2440 0
that's bogus... I don't know what she expects you to learn there when the bible is silent on the issue... there's a reason for it. I'm a christian.. but that was just sooo un-christlike. Jesus would have knocked if he needed you... and given you some privacy if your door was closed. not just barge in! she's the one who needs to go to bible camp... not you!
ihatemylife1007 0
FTW
PiousHeretic 0
You should have locked your door, man -- or at the very least, learned how to engage in stealth wankery.
phonyreal98 0
Tell her that Jesus, the charitable carpenter is giving you wood. Gotta love Bo Burnham.
A_bomb19 0
next time, LOCK THE ******* DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should do it when you KNOW you are alone, or in the shower where no one even WANTS to see you! if your a dude, do it at night when you go to bed, if a chick, who cares! its always hot!!!!!!
r33dr4c3r 0
not everyone's door has a lock.
jim_witness 0
Think she got mad that you didn't ask her to help...??
dantheman_fml 0
hahahahahhahahahha
macfluffers 0
Dude, lock the freaking door next time.