camp
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
laughingflame
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Anonymous
Buzau, Romania 🌶️ Spicy
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ygma
Mansfield, United States
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
caught
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
sonofahypocriticalwhore
United States
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Anonymous
Scarborough, Canada
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
but cum to think of it...
🌶️ Spicy
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
RLJJ 0
#20 : I had not seen your post... I had never heard about the biscuit, that's a good idea. Although in my opinion the last one should be the winner, in a training to last as long as possible for the greatest pleasure of the future partners.
Jimboom 12
Well... there are many variations of that game so yea, you could have it as the first one to pop has to eat it. but then they would just be eating their own spunk.. much more disgusting to have them eat everybody else's. ;) But training is a good idea. Just one tip. While wanking is great training for this (shorten recovery time etc..) it may desensitise you in the long term if your whacking it several times a day... also chaffing.. thats never good. Of course if you can practice on a real person then all the better.... still... watch out for that chaffing. :P
ChaosZirconia 0
HAHAHAhAHAHAHAHA
greenman_fml 0
She did the right thingaaah. The Lord will set you freeeaah. Curb your sinful habits and debauchery. Study hard and come back a pure youthaaah
ihatemylife1007 0
stfu you Christian freak
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
I think he was kidding...
NoKo_fml 0
lmaoooo at #26 XD
Fa7_fml 0
Oh my god grandma, get with the times! Masturbating is normal and healthy! Mind your own business and learn to knock! That totally pisses me off.
DrConstantine 0
You should tell her Jesus gives you a hard on. But then she may send you to a concentration camp.
Bruno_fml 0
I never ********** unless I'm behind a locked door or equally safe. You deserved that one.
snark_fml 0
How is this FML? The way I see it- 1. It's your fault you got caught. How hard is it to lock the door, or do it in the shower, or a thousand other foolproof methods to avoid this whole situations in the first place. Unless she set a trap to try and intentionally catch you, your fault. 2. Unless you're a Jew in 1940 Poland, camp isn't going to be that bad an experience. Maybe you'll actually see a chick in person instead of just on your computer screen, and actually interact with someone. 3. Maybe she just wants your ass out the house for the week so she doesn't have do deal with you fapfapfaping all the damndamntime. Seriously, GTFO.
AliSama 17
haha. well. if you are not religious, just look at it as an experience to laugh at the nuts. oh and click on the www link. it will give you ammo to mess with their tiny little minds.