By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 556
You deserved it 2 237

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

WTF. That's fucking gross and creepy.

She just doesn't want you to go blind.


She just doesn't want you to go blind.

Why ? My mistake he would shoot the load in eyes?

Going blind from masturbation is an old myth started by religious people to stop young boys from masturbating. Others include hair growing on the palms and that it will damage the genitals, making them unable to be used later on.

And those are the ones for boys. Girls had a whole different set of myths created. Like how it uses them up and they'll be worthless later in life or how using a vibrator makes them unable to orgasm.

please, we all know the female orgasm is a myth....

I think #66 was joking, as it is another myth to stop women trying to orgasm

I know 66 was joking. However I tried and failed to find any humor in the joke.

Next episode of mythbusters needs to test this wives tale

Or cross eyed

seriously, thank god you flush them

I understand that it could be a really serious problem for his pumbling if he does such.

hes flushing tissues, not condoms.

semen can actually destroy pipes

Semen can't melt steel beams

nitrog100 21

Well there goes my 9/11 theory.

It's sad how some people don't think it's natural. FYL

sonasonic 34

Masturbating on its own is not a bad activity at all, and is completely normal. But masturbating to an artificial stimulus like porn or pictures is not good for the mind, as it associates sex with more unattainable features found in porn stars. But the question really is, does anyone truely masturbate without thinking about porn? Fapping without thinking about your crush?

If you keep in mind that porn is acting, not reality, it has no ill effects IMO. Plus fantasizing is a normal part of everyone's lives. Sexual or not. Reality seldom matches what our minds create for us.

#14, yes..some people do masturbate without thinking of or watching porn. I know from experience. I just focus on reaching the end for the feeling.

Exactly. Masturbation is 100% natural. People, both men and women, usually discover it in the mid teens pretty randomly. I don't see why some people, religious or not, think it's bad and unnatural. The joke is on her if she did find out the hard way

Why is 14 so down-voted? What they stated is true but it lacks parts which would've made his explanation better

I've heard of that "porn makes you unable to finish" thing. That's why I use novels instead of pictures. With a good imagination, you can keep the partners in you're league.

I get what #14 is saying I think. Personally I can't fap without thinking about certain scenarioes/fantasies and religiously it is something I struggle with because you aren't meant to lust and sexual fantasies include lust. But as an actual act I don't see a problem with it. The problem is I can't get off without the thoughts that I am told are bad.

I'm not someone who watches porn, but from my understanding there are many people who do. And not all are the over the top porn that could never be real. If watching or thinking of porn causes negative affects(there are porn addictions of course or people who don't have common sense that don't realize it's fantasy but as I said most people seem to watch porn) we'd be seeing a lot of those effects. Plus, if porn is bad so is creating a fantasy in your head like someone above said.

74, get your priorities straight

Why is #14 so down-voted? It's true what is said. Porn causes erectile dysfunction in guys and kills dopamine cells in both men and women. using your imagination should be fine though.

96, we are seeing those side effects. Most psychologists can tell you that viewing porn is correlated with increased violence, especially in a sexual context.

That's just creepy.

How old are you, OP?

old enough to have found about porn i guess.

ShadowlessSpear 21


#31, "old enough to have found out about porn" so what, like 10. i mean technology today, its not that hard to stumble across it online. sometimes just a typo is all you need. like google. if you double tap a certain letter its porn

Darko913 4

I once tried to look up "Bath and Body Works" by looking up "BBW" and let's just say that it was a bad time.

WTF. That's fucking gross and creepy.

she's completely crazy

but the main question is, did you masturbate in it

In the dustbin?

He's not saying she thinks he masturbated into the trash can.. But that he used tissues to clean up and then threw them in there

what if she had gotten a nose full of cum joke would still be on her

That's super weird and kinda creepy. My parents are super religious and would kick my brothers out if they found out they did that, but they would never dig in the trash for used tissues. That's just gross. Anyway, you're really lucky you dodge that bullet, there would probably be hell to pay if she caught you and your used tissues.

I've gotten grounded for not eating a meal they cooked (and knew I didn't like it before hand) and I requested a salad, but she refused and grounded me for like a week and a half.

nonsensical 26

#20... "requested a salad"? maybe that's why you were grounded? she's not your chef or waitress, she worked hard to make a meal for the family and if you don't like it then make a salad yourself, right?

#55, I do make my own salads.

To expand because my timer ran out #55, I got grounded for not liking chicken fried steak, and they knew before hand I didn't like it. I asked to make a salad and I was told of I wasn't going to eat the chicken friend steak I might as well turn over all my stuff over to her and when I asked when I might get it back she said whenever I decided to eat chicken fried steak

Yeah, you need to get out of there. I'm sure you love you're folks, but it sounds to me like they did that because they were getting back at you for questioning them. I'm in the military, so I'm familiar with that kind of stuff, but my mom's second husband also did that. He would punish me and my brothers by finding the worst tasting canned soup and making us eat it. It would usually be ok, but sometimes he found the most disgusting crap in the world. For him, it wasn't even about religion (he went to church every Sunday morning, but he had no faith in it, one of the worst church hypocrites I've ever seen, why I want nothing to do with Christianity), he punished us if we made him look bad, or questioned him to much. This is my experience with ultra controlling parents. Weather or not it's what you're parents are doing, I don't know. I'm just saying you should get out from under them, then you'll be able to talk to them as an equal and figure out why they're doing this. But, this is just my advice. (Not even sure why I said so much in the first place.)

My father is just like this. He is probably the most anal person ever. He is the kind of person who believes respect does not need to be earned, and him being the man who's sperm I came from is enough for me to respect whatever decision he makes, for the better or worse for my sake.

nonsensical 26

#59 oh ok, thank you for elaborating. In that case it really does suck

That seems like a FML all on its own. I agree with the others, get in your feet as soon as you can. Though also be aware of yourself. It seems like most kids with over controlling parents either have mental issues because of it or go all out when they get a taste of freedom.

#97, they have actually done studies that show being overly controling parents, especially if the kid goes to college, makes them much more likely to become addicted to drugs and alcohol. and i mean DRUGS, not marijuanna

Sounds like you have super nice parents.. No, they sound like bat shit crazy, religious nuts! I feel sad on your behalf...

#111 I can vouch for that my parents are super religious and we're retardedly over controlling when I was a kid. I went nuts when I left home. Thankfully I never got addicted to anything in particular but for a good 4 years I went on a party binge and have done just about every drug in the book at some point or another and made it a point to drink my body weight in liquor. I've calmed down a lot now but I doubt my parents and I will ever be close. And OP I'm sorry you have to deal with that