Love: Today, at my anniversary party and in front of all our friends,...

By Daria_Weiner - 18/07/2011 18:23 - Russian Federation

Today, at my anniversary party and in front of all our friends, I accidentally called my husband-to-be by my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 422

You deserved it 48 526

Love

Mama's boy

Creepy

No Future

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 423

You deserved it 3 856

By Jace - 19/08/2011 22:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 395

You deserved it 5 701

Trust

By Anonymous - 29/08/2021 06:01

Today, my dad trusted me to go driving by myself in his car. I foolishly celebrated by doing a jump heel click, landed awkwardly, threw my hand out to stop myself falling, and scraped the whole bunch of keys down the driver's door. He trusted me for like 3 seconds and I blew it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 308

By Brandy_Dandy78 - 12/06/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 5 795

By Anonymous - 17/11/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 632

You deserved it 2 720

By crazycutie1027 - 14/02/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 123

You deserved it 6 754

Poker Face

By Anonymous - 25/10/2020 23:04

Today, I have to get a thyroid ultrasound. I'm a 25 year-old cancer survivor; it took amputating my left leg to beat the last one. My doctor has dealt with my hypochondria for years, long enough to know his face when I should be worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 59

By tired individual - 12/01/2014 11:04 - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 141

You deserved it 3 853

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 15:31 - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 980

You deserved it 1 867

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 546

You deserved it 9 639

By JJMan217 - 29/03/2011 06:28 - Canada

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 275

You deserved it 76 715

By lekijkerd - 17/11/2012 13:56 - Netherlands - Leusden

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 670

You deserved it 32 255

By ItHurtsLIkeHell - 01/03/2010 09:13 - Malaysia

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 889

You deserved it 42 982

By why - 02/05/2016 20:08 - United States - Beachwood

Today, the family I was serving had ordered calamari and when I brought out the food, they started yelling at me because apparently their daughter was allergic to it. Just why would you order it then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 940

You deserved it 873

By Yeah-It's-Just-Me - 01/01/2015 00:52 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 17/04/2014 16:01 - United States - Orange

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 014

You deserved it 11 739

By -___- - 14/09/2012 23:06 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 604

You deserved it 3 338

By Anonymous - 01/03/2017 18:00 - Canada - Westerose

Today I started a new job, I found out that my employer doesn't follow the labour laws and my new co-workers are planning on reporting the owner of the company. The owner is my father, and I want to help them report him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 786

By PerfectVision - 11/09/2014 06:49 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 003

You deserved it 3 233

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 19:41 - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 689

You deserved it 7 443

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 257

By ahhnotoy - 27/04/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 093

You deserved it 14 553

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 150

Hypocritical

By creepingjennie - 09/12/2021 04:59

Today, I realized that the only thing that relieves my chronic facial pain is vaping CBD. I previously was very vocal about how much I hate smoking and vaping. My kids think I'm a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 914

By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 14:07 - Canada

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 614

You deserved it 4 958

By bloated - 04/11/2016 02:46 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 761

You deserved it 2 506

Smart kid

By my_way_1213 - 09/06/2018 20:30

Today, at 2 in the afternoon, I walked in on my 6-year-old making coffee. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "You were being grumpy, and you said coffee makes you not so grumpy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 239

You deserved it 3 692

By shook - 06/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 11 737

By HouseMdFangirl - 10/08/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 730

You deserved it 58 220

By smoothmove - 26/06/2011 04:29 - United States

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 4 742

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 153

By Meh - 01/03/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 825

You deserved it 2 808

By melimelo24 - 13/03/2014 09:33 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 505

You deserved it 7 495

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I called my mom while she was out of town and confessed how I have been depressed lately and thinking suicidal thoughts. After my long sob story, she took a breath and said, "OK, just make sure you don't forget to take the dogs out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 634

You deserved it 5 673

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 11:37 - Australia

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 037

You deserved it 6 025

By kal - 23/02/2010 16:28 - United Kingdom

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 633

You deserved it 6 765

By yourekillingme - 19/02/2016 04:12 - United States - Mission

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 842

You deserved it 1 460

Hush

By sXeQueen - 13/03/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 258

You deserved it 30 959

By GDubeau24 - 05/11/2013 17:34 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 000

You deserved it 2 848

By spinner - 01/09/2009 11:44 - United States

Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 667

You deserved it 5 433

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Top comments

littlemissFYL 5

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:35

need a moment? grab a Twix.

BaconDave 12

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:45

Fuck did I say live? *Awaits thumbs downs* *Cries in corner*

BaconDave 12

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:33

You must really live him!

littlemissFYL 5

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:35

need a moment? grab a Twix.

daisyloo 7

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:39

Ooooh, I hope your hubby understands and good luck with the rest of your marriage!:)

steveakafranxy 7

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:43

#9 lol @ "the rest of your marriage"

BaconDave 12

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:45

Fuck did I say live? *Awaits thumbs downs* *Cries in corner*

lbumbblebee 5

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:55

haha yes you did

RockRoll 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:11

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Randuhh_17 4

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:17

if you would say names in a demonic voice...you'd remember.

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:29

1- I thought you were trying to be funny saying live instead of love like OP said (insert ex's name) instead of (insert fiancé's name).

xoxilovesoccerxo 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:05

lol

iEatGuppies 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:27

better there than when you say your vows at your wedding.

je_suis_fml 11

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:35

better there than in the bed...

JohnBoyFsYL 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:41

1. iPhone autocorrect fail.

Sebastian_NG 17

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:21

Why do many of the fmls lately remind me of Friends??

BaconDave 12

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:26

44- Yeah good idea. Let's go with both.

CaliGali 9

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 10:16

hah good one

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 11:41

It's live, not love. What the hell are you talking about? /troll

bfflrhea 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 13:47

#4 lmfao

Garyy_fml 11

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:34

Run like hell

USMC_sniper 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:51

You know hell's not very fast, right?

CryMoreFMLs 14

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:14

The fire in it burns you pretty quickly though.

DeepDownThere 3

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:57

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

grapisy 8

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:22

Reminds me of the jumping higher than a mountain joke... mountains can't jump

Garyy_fml 11

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:32

You all have to see he'll to believe it. It's very fast.

Garyy_fml 11

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:34

Ah poodles damn auto correct. It comes up at the worst times. I mean HELL!

a_nutritionist 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:29

@54 how do you know mountains cant jump? maybe they just dont want to.

FYLorYDIohno 12

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:23

Your main pic looks like you're running from hell

Yodaevil 4

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 15:32

OP is already in hell, er Russia.... calling him by an ex's name will get uncle Vladimir's attention with his draginov.

jellitonoctopus 19

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:35

I'm sure your husband to be would understand it was an honest mistake.

alphabetsoup96 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:43

it was an honest mistake but if I were the husband-to-be I would be pissed and suspect something, wouldn't u?

a_nutritionist 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:36

would your suspicion be about your own gender identity? no, i wouldnt be suspicious, i would be cautious and observant. theres a difference.

alphabetsoup96 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:02

84- no I'd suspect something is going on with the ex and op duh

a_nutritionist 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 16:18

...please tell me you didnt think i was serious...

Kickass89 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:36

i hope he leaves you... haha no jk or am i? bum bum bummm

beantownrican 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:40

lmao

a_nutritionist 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:55

well we are all just dying to know, oh please tell us...

lilly25001 7

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 9:38

That was rude

sufikoraine 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 11:39

you are an idiot. :D

staind42 0

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Wednesday 3 August 2011 5:22

I hope so to...

RabidBunny 10

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:37

That's not a good sign...

Acaprice14 9

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:39

your ex must've been hitting it hard, you still saying his name aloud.

johnnie254 7

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 8:28

lol win!!

superfly09 3

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 8:30

haha

woahwoahwow 9

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:40

Be understanding when he says the wrong name on your wedding night.

darkmis1 17

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:40

You're gonna have a hard time proving you're not cheating lolz.

howslife123 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:52

lolz? no. LAWLS? mebbe.

UsernameIsUsed 9

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:45

mebbe? no. MEBE? maybe...

TheRealHouse 7

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:08

Word

Chickenfoot117 6

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:40

Maybe she really dies him....

gertyygirly 4

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 3:58

WTF? I hope she doesn't die him. That sounds really painful....

green_eggs_and_h 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 5:23

Why would she dye him a different Color?

pwincessa23 1

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:17

I think this comment was meant as a reply to the first one.

littlemissFYL 5

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 8:59

*I think she maybe really does love him @#1

jellitonoctopus 19

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Wednesday 20 July 2011 6:42

I see what you did there ;)

leander63 0

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Tuesday 19 July 2011 2:42

wow...

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 6

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 789

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 1 028

Trust

Poker Face

Gas giant

Summer's here and the time is right…

Hypocritical

Smart kid

Hush

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