Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
blondebabycakes 0
Wrong #7, don't tell me you're one of those idiots that believes we came from monkeys:)
steveakafranxy 7
accidentally thumbed this up
AtoZandBeyond 0
Wrong #83, don't tell me you're one of those idiots that believes we came from dirt:)
AtoZandBeyond 0
Well read the Bible thoroughly and point out all the sins that your grammy is doing and tell her she should come with you to bible camp
RatIsKing 0
FYL, but you shouldve locked the door anyway
me5 0
notyou123 0
r u retarded? ur @ ur gma's house 1 that's really religious none the less and u **********??????? god! YCDI
Ayselen 0
ROFL Nice, but they're called LOCKS.
idogis1 0
Not sure what you can do besides go and paint the town white buddy.
Whiterabbitm1 0
have you thought of telling her you're not going?
U2dabest 0
she's a bitch