camp
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
laughingflame
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Anonymous
Buzau, Romania 🌶️ Spicy
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ygma
Mansfield, United States
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
caught
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
sonofahypocriticalwhore
United States
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Anonymous
Scarborough, Canada
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
but cum to think of it...
🌶️ Spicy
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
jayfx 0
you should lock your door
McLaughlane 0
I agree with #3. Tell her that it's your body, you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, and she can't stop you from doing something that's a perfectly natural behavior anyway.
Seegtease 0
#1, that's true. OP, I have no sympathy for those who get caught masturbating. I've never been caught in my life, it just takes proper precautions and a little common sense.
undead_fml 0
As they say in the old thesis of lecturers: "Your body is your own, God's creations. ********** in peace."
amelinat 0
13 makes a fair point, shouldn't be wanking when nana's lurking. Hey maybe bible camp will be great, in the sunshine with the fresh air, stay positive, keep out of trouble, everything should pan out.
RenoEnvy 0
Aw, this is very upsetting to read! Refuse to go. Or get caught masterbating in your bible camp. =)
LMFAOsabrina 0
It should be up to your MOTHER whether or not you go to Bible camp, not your GRANDMOTHER.
zendaddy0 0
what if his parents are dead and grandma takes care of him
yuyo_fml 0
dont **********, ****
Jimboom 12
Who knows. You might get lucky and find some girl who got sent to bible camp for being a ****.. assuming your a guy. If your a girl then you should have no problem finding some willing young guys there who have been sent there by their parents for wanking/smoking/drinking etc..... Or push comes to shove you can organise a wanking circle with your camp mates. Last one to pop has to eat the biscuit that was in the middle. ;)
RLJJ 0
My advice : When you're in that camp jerk off where and when you're lileky to be discovered, eventually organize a wanking tournament with your fellows... They'll send you back home. And keep masturbating : it gives a good time, it's unexpensive and it doesn't harm anybody. Just ignore asshole like her...
laxgirl3 0
INexpensive not "unexpensive"