camp
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
laughingflame
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML
Anonymous
Buzau, Romania 🌶️ Spicy
Cast the first stone
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
ygma
Mansfield, United States
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
caught
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught red-handed
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
sonofahypocriticalwhore
United States
Hypocrite much?
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Anonymous
Scarborough, Canada
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet
San Francisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Creepy
Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML
but cum to think of it...
🌶️ Spicy
No fun allowed
Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML
Top comments
BeautyAndBrains 0
Has anyone heard of KNOCKING anymore? My gosh, she should have at least given you some warning before just barging in on you.
neonoodle 0
What a sad life she must have led if she's never masturbated.
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Comments (121)
Iconqueredurmom 0
dude, all horney chicks go to bible camp.
savestheday798 0
no, no they dont
Commentator_fml 0
I though masturbating wasn't a sin.
Eryx_fml 3
Your grandmother should've masturbated a little more. You should be more cautious. And teach this old lady that knocking is a polite habit people have in this century.
superson_fml 0
RUN AWAY MAN. GET THE **** OUT OF THERE.
shinychexmix 0
i agree with #65...is it?
earwig12 1
How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins... How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine... Song of Solomon 7:1-3, 7:6-8 Dude, I'm fapping already!
dan81892 2
in the bible i have, the breasts "are like twin fawns, the young of a gazelle" instead =D
adur 0
ok 1 yes masturbating is a sin ... and bible camp has a really bad rap its a lot of fun ... and dude you really should try to break that habit because it may not seem like it but youll feel great when your not doing it so def try and give Jesus a chance he did die for you ... youll be a lot happier by his side trust me =D
Crunchyyy_fml 0
It's okay, I'm fapping for him in return for his death =D
dhtiwen 0
Don't let them brainwash you into thinking masturbating is bad. Religious nonsense is some of the most ridiculous and offensive bullshit out there.
dhtiwen 0
and it's completely normal to **********... where do all these uneducated morons come from.. -facedesk- It's actually healthy and beneficial to **********, whatever God supposedly told you, (though from what I've been told, I don't know, I'm not a Christian, masturbating ISN'T a sin. And well, if it is... that's sad.)