Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
spd2fst4u 5
I think I'd have him arrested.
Zero22120 12
How do you not wake up to that?
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Comments (213)
Pot14 9
beat his ass!
pYrO92583 0
Wish o knew your gf she sounds like a heavy sleeper
bsharp1 1
Don't see how she wouldn't wake up, unless she was drunk or drugged up, in which case you've got a serious problem on your hands.
sandybaybe 3
Creeper alert!!!
heresjuju 2
Take off his pants and underwear when he's asleep, then shave his pubescent with a straight razor.
nicolegreberis 0
That's a little bit unbelievable I think you might have made that up
burningpassion69 6
that's just messed bro
iBriannaa 2
It's not his fault, you know guys.. Sometimes they can't control themselves. :o! Bros before hoes!! Bros before hoes!! ;)
deviable 9
Dude no, guys can control themselves and it's never bros before hoes when that bro is a potential rapist.
sheethapins 13
67 So, you'd be ok with this happening to you? Or if you walked down the street and was attacked by a rapist it'd be ok because he couldn't help it, guys are like that? Good luck with life chick, you'll need it...
VirgilLovesYou 0
Your attempt at humor failed. Rape kind of trumps bros before hoes.
angi71 4
She should press charges. That was such a violation. And if she woke up and thought it was him she probably either thought it was a dream or was too scared to do anything.
bullrider92 19
Creepy roommate.What did the girl have to say?