Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Twisted
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Forgiveness
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
It's not the size that counts
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Back and forth and back again
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Top comments
spd2fst4u 5
I think I'd have him arrested.
Zero22120 12
How do you not wake up to that?
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Comments (213)
K_kanaka 26
Forgive him in a couple days no, couple of months mayb.
theghost1309 11
And you didn't deck him the second after he told you?
kai_ngo 0
See, here's where you went wrong: You had an argument with him and decided to hate him. What you should've done: The second the good for nothing weasel 'fess'd, the next thing he should see is your fist, then the floor. In layman's terms: You shoulda whooped that bitch's ass, soon as he said so. You do realize you can have your girl report him for sexual harassment, right?
DjeePee 25
Ah, here's another person who loves his enter key. You're completely right, though. I'm a girl, but if another person undresses my boyfriend in his sleep, he/she will get immediately a big good ol' slap in the face. Maybe even a couple. Really, how ******-up is that? And how must the girlfriend feel, now she is sexually harassed?
kai_ngo 0
I didn't mean strictly sexual harassment, but there's gotta be something she can sue/use agains him. Still, how is that not sexual harassment?
portablecupid 3
It's not harassment - it's more like assault.
Burdie04_fml 0
Wow!! That's horrible!! I'd be looking for a new roommate ASAP!
RedPillSucks 33
You probably should have a conversation with your girlfriend about this. I'd have a hard time thinking that she wasn't awake through some of this. Maybe she thought it was you. On the other hand, if she could sleep through that, she could sleep through being raped and maybe you shouldn't have her sleep over until you get rid of your room mate. Some boundaries shouldn't be crossed so easily.
mastersmurf 13
Your roommate is legend. ...Achievement unlocked: "Ninja Pervert" He probably did it for the fun of the game and was satisfied with the excitement of the game (Goal: remove target's clothes without waking her) as much as (if not more than) by what he saw.
kai_ngo 0
You're a douche…
portablecupid 3
^ A rapist in the making, ladies and gentlemen. I sincerely hope you get help.
Sweetcupcakes123 6
And it really doesn't matter why he did it... He did it.
Ugi 27
Even if he did it for this reason, which seems far-fetched to me, it's hard to imagine that it wouldn't escalate. Undressing becomes touching, and not-waking becomes not crying out, or not finding-out who, and you gradually have a serial rapist on your hands. Whatever the turn-on, this is freaky and needs stamping out.
MernieAnne 0
You might need to kick his ass.
TapialPaado 1
That's seriously creepy. You need to report him to the law. Undressing a person without their consent is molestation. It's a crime, and you need to get the creep on the sex offender register ASAP to protect his potential future victims.
silver_85 0
That is the furthest thing from ok! If he's undressing your girlfriend in her sleep, who know what else is going on!? Get away from that pervasive, get his ass arrested!
kaykay20 0
Kick him out and inform your girlfriend what he did if she did not wake up to know what took place. I wouldn't blame her if she wants to press charges on him for that.