Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
spd2fst4u 5
I think I'd have him arrested.
Zero22120 12
How do you not wake up to that?
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Comments (213)
Belthazor_fml 5
If I were you, I would beat the SHIT out of him!!!!___
nubx 0
Beat the **** out of him
nubx 0
Beat the **** out of him
nubx 0
Beat the **** out of him
nubx 0
Beat the **** out of him
redmnky21 8
and u havent called the cops why?
blaqgod 0
that is a considerate roommate. he must hv figured your gf was hot and decided to help her out
BighornB 0
Too bad your roommate didn't tell you he wacked off afterwards and left baby goo all over belly.
falce1189 0
What. The. ****. Kinda ****** are you? U should b in jail right now for assault at the very least..should b murder 1 or manslaughter if u didn't obsess over ****..
kaylapple 1
you should get a new roommate.