Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Twisted
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Forgiveness
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
It's not the size that counts
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Back and forth and back again
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Top comments
spd2fst4u 5
I think I'd have him arrested.
Zero22120 12
How do you not wake up to that?
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Comments (213)
sexckendra 0
Wat a creep! I would beat his ass
mrcorncan99 0
Punch him in the damn face.
LifeStory32 9
Ok so that is creepy and stalkerish. And why wouldn't she wake up for that? Can you say new roommate??
deviable 9
Wow, call the cops.
lilseskie 2
kick his ass?
poolshark1017 0
FTW
J0SHuA_fml 0
Kick his ass
Proudmary 2
what.the.****
klizsmith 1
That's a disturbing story. Also disturbing, the fact that many of the people that have commented on this are making jokes about it. Not funny. What he did is considered molestation, and that can be very damaging to a person. Laughing at their expense = not okay. If you find things such as molestation or rape funny, then you should probably go somewhere and have a mental evaluation and consider medication for your sickness.
jobsman99 0
I agree. nothing fun or funny about this. time for action like calling police and getting it on his record. if he wants to see new **** go to a stripper club or buy a mag and jack off to it.
sheethapins 13
Agreed, I find most unfortunate situations funny, but the three topics that are never humorous are pedophilia, death, and rape/molestation. Not funny at all.
sukitoff3656 0
Dude same crap has happened to me. Some guys are so messed up