Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
spd2fst4u 5
I think I'd have him arrested.
Zero22120 12
How do you not wake up to that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (213)
portablecupid 3
Jaaaail. It's especially creepy that he's more concerned about you being mad at him than he is about the fact that he molested a woman. It's like he thinks she's your property rather than a human being.
mikkiMAYHEM 8
Your roommate? You mean...your ex-roommate?
iPunchedBigFoot 5
Damn. He would wake up in the ******* hospital. I hope you were argueing with your fists.
portablecupid 3
Call the cops. It's especially disturbing that he's more concerned about you being mad than he is about the fact that he molested a woman. It seems like he views her as your property rather than a human being. Protip: The person whose feelings matter most here are the molestation victim's, not the boyfriend's.
getbuckchuck 2
i woulda hit that
Bryceps 4
Well at least he confessed to you about it... :P
mario1992 0
undress him and carry him to the center of your community.
jobsman99 0
he should not bother to tell you. guys always like to see new ****.
stallion2521 0
Yeah... In her sleep... Im sure
getbuckchuck 2
thats my motto "you sleep, I creep"