By itsemilyc - United States - Byron Center Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML I agree, your life sucks 50687 You deserved it 4277 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By help - United Kingdom - London Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML I agree, your life sucks 43511 You deserved it 3773 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hannah - United Kingdom Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 27772 You deserved it 4130 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Colin Jr. - United States Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML I agree, your life sucks 24706 You deserved it 1674 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By accident - United States - San Francisco Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 60878 You deserved it 5781 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flatchested Sam - United States - Radcliff Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML I agree, your life sucks 45724 You deserved it 3934 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sleepless - Australia Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 45847 You deserved it 4262 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WELLFUCKYOUTOO - Canada - Toronto Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML I agree, your life sucks 28150 You deserved it 2306 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Belgium Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML I agree, your life sucks 44347 You deserved it 2676 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Craig - Canada Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML I agree, your life sucks 15419 You deserved it 32907 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Liverpool Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 55082 You deserved it 9282 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Julissa - 25/2/2021 00:30 Asshat Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML I agree, your life sucks 1409 You deserved it 86 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tmac - United States Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML I agree, your life sucks 22002 You deserved it 42993 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By vron991 - United States - Wilmington Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31428 You deserved it 2709 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By akasoor - Canada - Hythe Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 30139 You deserved it 5905 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By twinzies - United States - Chula Vista Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML I agree, your life sucks 21520 You deserved it 1823 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rj - United States Today, I went to the dentist after 24 hours of severe tooth pain. They did an emergency root canal. After the anesthesia wore off, within minutes, the pain returned only worse than before. Called the dentist, I had to return, only to find they had done the root canal on the wrong tooth. FML I agree, your life sucks 47165 You deserved it 3022 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML I agree, your life sucks 1873 You deserved it 1371 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heaventlyassbutt - United States - Brooklyn Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of time since I've been looking for a job. I got an e-mail yesterday from a company for a telephone interview which I was happy about. The day of the interview, my phone is disconnected. FML I agree, your life sucks 10910 You deserved it 987 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gRRRrr - United States Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML I agree, your life sucks 44513 You deserved it 5743 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By has-evil-friends - United Kingdom Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 31608 You deserved it 3604 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Scarlet Today, after calling my bank to see where my paycheck was, and waiting on hold for my entire lunch break, my boss told me she forgot to submit my deposit. I was relying on that money to pay for lunch today as I used all I had for bills. Looks like I eat tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 13593 You deserved it 1124 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GlassPwn - United States Today, I walked into my room in only a towel. I walked in front of my brother to get to my computer. He said, "My webcam is on." I replied smartly by screaming, hugging the towel tightly to me, turning, and running straight into the glass door, dropping the towel. His friends saw and laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 25620 You deserved it 15492 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By karmafails - United Kingdom - Addlestone Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML I agree, your life sucks 30173 You deserved it 2347 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML I agree, your life sucks 3460 You deserved it 795 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Santa Clarita Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 38359 You deserved it 3338 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sirenmario Today, a patient at the hospital I work at had a tracheal tube and couldn't speak. I'm unable to read lips, but I'm pretty sure he was mouthing the words 'stupid bitch' every time I tried to stop him from pulling out his IV. FML I agree, your life sucks 25912 You deserved it 2660 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By victimofakarmicbackfire - 12/2/2021 04:58 Still better off without him Today, my sister showed me my arrogant, misogynistic, cheating ex’s Facebook. Since we broke up, he’s become an officer in the Marines and has traveled the world. I’m clinically depressed and in poverty. FML I agree, your life sucks 885 You deserved it 226 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tired waitress - United States Today, I'm a waitress. A customer came in and acted very kindly and even mentioned how I was such a help to her. She also mentioned leaving a nice tip. The tip? A fake $20. Thanks. FML I agree, your life sucks 13574 You deserved it 1174 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Flagstaff Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML I agree, your life sucks 27149 You deserved it 1866 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/1/2021 07:56 Oh, the irony Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 698 You deserved it 69 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GodDaughter - United States Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 37508 You deserved it 9931 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops - Netherlands - Nieuwe-niedorp Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML I agree, your life sucks 11478 You deserved it 48051 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By momlife - Canada - Ajax Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML I agree, your life sucks 19005 You deserved it 2056 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scatter00x - United States Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML I agree, your life sucks 35996 You deserved it 7037 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samantha - Singapore Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML I agree, your life sucks 35640 You deserved it 4342 223 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bglenney - United States Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 56815 You deserved it 4160 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 10273 You deserved it 64199 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 62393 You deserved it 7764 237 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shoopbadeewoop Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML I agree, your life sucks 42849 You deserved it 6202 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dr_Gip - United States Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML I agree, your life sucks 8900 You deserved it 43683 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CurvyisCool | 22 #6190554 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 "I fell down the stairs while erect and she just so happened to be at the bottom bent over naked." Send a private message 501 1 Reply
By marcmaralou | 15 #6190552 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 they tripped, right? Send a private message 408 4 Reply
By marcmaralou | 15 #6190552 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 they tripped, right? Send a private message 408 4 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6190617 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:15 Well, he surely tripped up at least for being such a lame excuse for a human being and using such a lame excuse. Send a private message 12 58 Reply
Reply Jenmic | 14 #6190626 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:21 Tripped, fell, landed on his dick Send a private message 25 36 Reply
Reply hugozac88 | 22 #6190627 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:21 He tripped and landed inside her already moist vagina... Shesh people it happens all the time (insert sarcasm) Send a private message 134 8 Reply
Reply weveallbeenthere | 30 #6190636 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:29 #42. I up voted you but to many people here won't get the sarcasm even though you said it. Send a private message 8 82 Reply
Reply royceda510 | 10 #6190803 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:09 Alright shady Send a private message 19 4 Reply
Reply thepersonyouknow | 9 #6190885 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:58 Its alright i get the joje Send a private message 2 11 Reply
Reply nicole74 | 13 #6193173 - Thursday 5 February 2015 9:51 I hope he had a random condom on when he tripped! Send a private message 9 1 Reply
Reply duuinit998 | 10 #6195779 - Sunday 8 February 2015 0:26 Eminem- guilty conscirnce Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply xXxGraveStonexXx | 20 #6215427 - Friday 27 February 2015 6:35 now you can "accidentally " kick him in the dick xD Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By AllKnowingTurtle | 9 #6190553 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 Well then "accidentally" break up with him. Send a private message 301 5 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6190620 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:17 Then "accidentally" kick him between the legs, so that he won't do that again. Send a private message 86 8 Reply
Reply EmoKami | 21 #6190727 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 1:00 Or "accidentally" slash his tires...just screams vengeful ex gf Send a private message 7 44 Reply
Reply shutupshane12 | 12 #6190867 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:40 & #67 no, just no Send a private message 21 6 Reply
Reply j_cat187 | 19 #6190912 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:20 "Accidental" castration and decapitation. Send a private message 8 22 Reply
Reply SystemofaBlink41 | 27 #6191840 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 5:41 "Accidental" arrest. Send a private message 6 0 Reply
Reply militarybrat | 21 #6191893 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 7:18 #39 that is technically assault that she could be arrested for so be careful who you give that advice to. Send a private message 1 7 Reply
By CurvyisCool | 22 #6190554 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 "I fell down the stairs while erect and she just so happened to be at the bottom bent over naked." Send a private message 501 1 Reply
Reply MrSassypants | 32 #6190614 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:13 "And every time I tried to pull it out, I accidentally pushed it back in over and over and over again." Send a private message 162 3 Reply
Reply BntyHntrSeattle | 30 #6190705 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:41 "But don't worry: I was accidentally thinking of you!!" Send a private message 110 1 Reply
Reply Daevas | 18 #6190755 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 1:45 "I was teaching her how to do push-ups." Send a private message 76 2 Reply
Reply R2Y2 | 22 #6190764 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 1:58 I accidentally put on a faulty condom too Send a private message 5 64 Reply
Reply originaljosh | 11 #6190841 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:16 There's always that guy who kills it Send a private message 97 3 Reply
Reply R2Y2 | 22 #6190896 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:07 Fuck if I care, haha. Send a private message 4 58 Reply
Reply j_cat187 | 19 #6190899 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:12 Lol that was terrible. Send a private message 4 17 Reply
Reply Meanmommy02 | 11 #6191316 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 17:58 It kept sucking me back in every damn time I tried to pull out.. Send a private message 13 2 Reply
By thedevilspawn | 21 #6190556 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 Are you "accidentally" going to break up with him? Send a private message 74 11 Reply
By msasandman | 6 #6190557 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 accidents happen. Send a private message 20 89 Reply
Reply Nilorak | 24 #6190596 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:50 Are you op's ex? Send a private message 103 2 Reply
Reply tylercarolinex | 21 #6190616 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:15 yeah like pouring water on his games console: accidently of course! Send a private message 75 10 Reply
Reply buckdharma | 36 #6190664 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:03 5- Sure, it was a boating accident. He hit her between the legs with his kayak. Send a private message 76 3 Reply
Reply Bidnitch | 3 #6190843 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:22 Don't worry msasandman, I get sarcasm Send a private message 5 17 Reply
Reply Tonisha1989 | 11 #6190869 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:41 Like your existence #5 Send a private message 9 29 Reply
Reply HairIsEverything | 15 #6191290 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 17:21 Ooooh too far #109.. Send a private message 9 2 Reply
By BlondePsycho | 43 #6190558 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:35 Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment You should accidentally destroy his clothes. Send a private message 9 50 Reply
Reply Morning_fml | 22 #6190604 - Monday 2 February 2015 23:05 Nah, he could still press charges for damage of property. He cheated but he didn't physically harm her. Send a private message 52 3 Reply
By hayleyblack2u71 | 21 #6190559 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:36 "Accidently" cheat and break up with him. Send a private message 5 63 Reply
Reply Cass_x | 22 #6190571 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:39 Break up; yes. Cheat; no. I won't say he doesn't deserve it, but if the OP cheats, she can be blamed for cheating, while he started everything. There's no reason to do stuff that can be used against you in the future. Send a private message 71 3 Reply
Reply 1PersonIsMyWorld | 22 #6190686 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 0:25 7--agreed. an eye for an eye. Send a private message 0 43 Reply
Reply BlindlyWandering | 17 #6190728 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 1:04 30 I agree 100% Send a private message 22 3 Reply
Reply marigoldcobain | 21 #6190761 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 1:57 Why do you think those laws still aren't used in society, #56? Send a private message 15 1 Reply
Reply rich443 | 22 #6190810 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 3:24 An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Send a private message 37 3 Reply
Reply Maggi_1997 | 15 #6191327 - Tuesday 3 February 2015 18:15 Why would he get hurt if she cheats? He doesn't care anyways. Why stoop down to his level for no reason? Send a private message 8 1 Reply
Reply RBW_Slave | 9 #6192638 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 23:07 #7, you have it wrong. Break up, then fuck whomever you wish. Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By Darkness_Hate | 29 #6190561 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:36 Well you need a new boyfriend and a new roommate. Send a private message 62 2 Reply
By sarah5745 | 41 #6190567 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:38 Wow, so many 'accidentally' comments XD! Ditch the both of them OP, it's the best thing to do Send a private message 46 1 Reply
Reply Vestin | 18 #6190600 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:55 #10 So many of them, yet no a single one follows the canonical "I accidentally [noun]. Is this dangerous?". I am disappoint. Send a private message 1 26 Reply
By Wutdafuqq | 24 #6190568 - Monday 2 February 2015 22:38 So he tripped and "accidentally" fell into her? Send a private message 30 3 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 470 You deserved it 150 4 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 453 You deserved it 188 4 Comments