Cats give great advice like "Shit in a box!" - FML

Cats give great advice like "Shit in a box!"

By can't sleep - 09/08/2019 00:01 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 263

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 9 August 2019 0:14

Both are pretty crazy, but asking the FML crowd for an opinion trumps all!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Send a private message

Friday 9 August 2019 17:28

"How am I supposed to get to sleep, Mr. Tiddles?" "I don't know, so I'm going to sit on your chest and lick my genitals clean."

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 9 August 2019 0:14

Both are pretty crazy, but asking the FML crowd for an opinion trumps all!

LostSoul 19

Friday 9 August 2019 2:54

If after 20 minutes you are still awake, get up,do something then try to sleep again.

Henry8cooper 15

Send a private message

Friday 9 August 2019 3:27

And the cat looked back at you as if you are insane (because that's what cats do best) rolled over in an impossible position and went back to sleep (because that's what cats do second best)

BurnInDemonFire 33

Send a private message

Friday 9 August 2019 17:28

"How am I supposed to get to sleep, Mr. Tiddles?" "I don't know, so I'm going to sit on your chest and lick my genitals clean."

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Clumsy Accident Psychology Mental health Transportation Miscellaneous Parenting Kids Wanker Sex Intimacy Parents Sextoys Gross Animals Cats Injury Dogs Money Poopoo peepee Food Pregnancy Family Weddings Love Annoying Mother in law Sadness

The Top

Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 109

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 275

You deserved it 8 193

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 557

You deserved it 9 454

Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 447

You deserved it 401

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 297

You deserved it 8 914

Today, after more than two years of saying that I'm depressed and I need professional help, that my husband always rejects, saying, "You can always talk to me, my dear," he finally said that I'm his biggest problem in life, he's not happy with me, and wants me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 158