Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML
Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
laurensauren 9
It was small enough to fit in your ear AND wiggle around?
MelissaRoo2 6
Put laxatives in his food.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
zuelhater 7
Is your husbands initials ML?
sickandsexified 7
I thought it was weird when a guy decided to make out with my ear canal but THAT is disgusting!
Lucious306 7
Whoa he must like to do that freaky stuff
Haakon87 0
FYL that it's small enough to fit
whatadaydanny 12
How the **** did he get it wet?!
dohdohdoh 13
In the ear no babies. Thankfully.
jem970 19
Did I miss the memo that men now seem to think we like penis shoved in our ears?
bekkyjane 3
Another example of how demented men are and the lengths they'll go to humiliate the women who love them.
Missusluv313 9
This is the second dick in the ear in less than a week. Am I missing something?
greeneye_fml 12
So punch him in the dick, see if he does it again.