Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, my cousin got married. I was cold so I went to get my jacket from my car. While leaving I saw my cousin walking around the front of the venue. I told her she looked beautiful in her dress. She looked up and said, "Where is my beer, have you seen my beer?" and threw up on me. FML
Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML
Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML
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Top comments
KrazieKleo 13
Gift it back to her for Christmas!!
JustDerpin 11
That username.
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Comments (56)
KrazieKleo 13
Gift it back to her for Christmas!!
samsaf1989 5
For some reason your comment just reminded me of George Michael's song "last Christmas" and now I can't get it out of my head !
DarkHelmet 10
Took the words right outta my mouth
JuliannVo 11
Omg, LOL, made me laugh so hard. >.<
PuggieKid 22
OPs' username made me laugh harder.
Carmstro 13
44- Yes, it's certainly a uh- unique combination of words.
SMD_emilyy 1
It's the thought that counts..?
gman90210 18
Enjoy that smell it's been aged quite nicely.
trippythehippy 6
Regifting to the max!! Ouch. I usually just give people a little card that says moneys short, times are hard, heres your f#**%ng birthday card. Happy bday op
gracehi 33
Your profile pic confuses me o.O
samsaf1989 5
14- I am equally as confused by your profile pic .
gracehi 33
It's a modern art painting at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. :D
trippythehippy 6
#14. Yea I was kinda baffled when I seen it to. I had to stop. If for no either reason than to take the pic. But Ty for noticing ;)
gracehi 33
You mean that's a REAL stop sign??? O.o I'm so confused now, I'm not entirely sure you aren't ******* with me!
Epikouros 32
Maybe the sign maker was colorblind? Red-green colorblindness occurs in about 7% of all men in the US.
trippythehippy 6
Yes it is very VERY real. No photo shop no hoax. I promise when I pulled up, I just sat there staring at it for a minute before I took the pic...
gracehi 33
Well, stranger things have happened. For example, that time it rained herring. I believe you. :D
fmlallthetyme 23
So wash it a few times and be happy to have it back...
WeAreRisen 6
What kind of alcohol? Beer or liquor? It does make a difference you know.
sirpantselot 22
Out of interest, what difference does it make?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well if it's piña colada scented it's not all that bad, eh?
outoftown 27
Smoke goes better with the earthier liquors.
omgalice 5
And this is why you only let people who you absolutely completely trust to borrow your clothes.
gracehi 33
You'd think her own aunt would qualify though...
omgalice 5
Personally I don't think so. In my experiences family relatives take the longest in giving shit back to you (and not in necessarily he best condition) cause apparently according to my mum 'it doesn't matter cause they're family'
MuseFanatic 8
It's really not the worst gift you can get But Happy Birthday :)
JustDerpin 11
That username.
Forlorn420 9
Ah reminds me of high school.. Sad days there
gracehi 33
Reminds me of the time I let my friend borrow my car... A recently bought 1997 Jaguar nonetheless. I told him not to smoke in it. I had to call the police to get him to return it and when he did the leaping cat emblem was gone, the interior stunk of cigarettes, and he didn't even bother to discard the empty marlboro packs. Well, needless to say, I learned my lesson. I hope you learned yours.
goldensh0wer69 3
If you think people are going to read all of that/give a shit you're wrong
Welshite 40
#11: I read all of it, so what's your point?
gracehi 33
If you think that's a long comment you clearly haven't been here very long. *Looks at profile* Nine comments. Just as I thought. Move along, troglodyte. Don't you have some books to not read?
cr3ativity 15
A simple set of rules in life when it comes to letting people borrow your stuff. 1) if you are going to let someone borrow an item, don't expect it back. Thus, the thing you lend out, is a "gift-on-demand" for the borrower. You don't have to give your "friends" gifts anytime they want a gift. 2) based of 1, make sure you can live without what you lend out, or are comfortable with losing it entirely. By the way gracehi, if your "friend" was a guy, then he broke bro-policies. At the very least, he ought to have filled the tank before the police got it back.
goldensh0wer69 3
Why aren't you partying with her?
traveler_ghost 12
remember that next time on her birthday